My life as a Jinchuriki can't be this troublesome!
by AK-103
Summary: Uzumaki Naruto, resident jinchuriki with no motivation in life. Really, the only thing that keeps him living is ramen and that is if he's not lazy to get them. He can't enjoy his life because it's too tiring to even enjoy it in the first place, but the big bad fox inside his stomach won't stop nagging him to go to school. Can his life get any worse? Oh wait, it just did.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello everyone, I am AK-103 with my first story in Fanfiction. Please be nice to me, but not too nice because I also need to improve. I'm not a native English speaker so forgive me if I make grammar mistakes or any mistakes at all; I'm still studying English after all. I'm slow at updating because I really have little motivation to start with, so if you want to see more of this please give me lots of reviews.**

 **I am accepting suggestions, but don't expect me to reply to your suggestions just yet because I'm still figuring this whole thing out. For now, please just follow the story as it is. I swear I'm doing my best planning this whole thing out.**

 **Without further ado, let's just start the story.**

* * *

Morning.

The start of a brand new day and an end to the previous one. If he starts looking into it deeply, it sure brings a dark meaning out to the surface. Then again, everything could have a dark meaning. Like… why men prefer to not urinate directly next to the other guy in the next urinal or why girls can fart like ninjas… see, life is just full of things to think of… but once you start thinking about those parts of life, you know that you're lonely.

"…"

" **Good morning Kit, can't be late today, it's your graduation after all."**

"…"

" **Go and brush your teeth or something. Wash your face while you do so, you probably look like shit."**

"…"

He does not move from his spot on the bed. He's always jet legged in the mornings and now is no different. His eyes are still sleepy and personally, he'd love falling back to sleep but what the fox said is true, today is his graduation so… shit. Groggily, he gets off his bed and then fixing the sheets as well as pillowing. He lags over to his bathroom in his small apartment room like a zombie, moving ever so slowly as if he's given up on living.

The bathroom's light is always on, thanks to his bad habit of always forgetting to turn off the lights in his apartment. This month's rent is going to be off the roof, again. Opening the glass cupboard just above his sink, the boy reaches for his toothbrush and paste. He applies the orange flavored toothpaste to its significant other and then proceeds to brush his teeth. He does so sleepily, given, he's just woken up after all. He's still wearing his nightcap, even.

After the brushing is done, he cleans the toothbrush and returns it where it belongs. He scoops up a little bit of tap water from the sink and then splashes himself right on the face, bringing down his sleepiness. He blinks several times, rubs his eyes and then he wipes his hands dry with a towel. The boy then decides to do his morning routine of… toilet business. And from here, the rest is omitted.

Ten minutes later, he's back outside and this time, he makes sure to turn off the bathroom light and close the door. He returns to his room, the sight of his bed tempting him to go back to sleep. But he steels himself; he can't afford to be weak in the morning. He opens his wardrobe and puts on some real clothes, unlike the pajamas he's wearing. He puts on the fishnet mesh shit before slipping into his orange jacket and pants.

"…since I'm graduating today, should I wear something different?" staring in front of a mirror he has in his room, the blonde inspects his form reflected by the mirror intently. "I practically wear this thing every time I go out…"

" **Don't. Just wear it, there's this thing called character originality so it's bothersome for you to wear different clothes than what you're usually wearing."**

"Eh? Why?"

" **Because you're the main character, duh."**

"Huh?"

" **Nothing. Just go to school."**

"…right."

After several more minutes of making sure that he left nothing on like his stove, lights, TV and even air conditioner; the boy finally heads out of his apartment's front door. He locks the door with his keys, pocketing it lazily into his pants afterwards. He really has no motivation to go to the academy today, even if he's graduating. In fact, it's because of the fact that he's graduating that he's got no motivation!

" **Then why are you a ninja…?"**

"It's because it's the only job that I get to do interesting things like learning ninjutsu and travelling outside without having to pay for things like travelling taxes." Naruto explains while walking down the stairs of his apartment building. He lives on the fifth floor, so it's going to take a while with the pace he's walking.

" **Hm… you're really unmotivated aren't you?"**

The teen rolls his eyes. "Tell me something I don't know…"

He continues his walk, and after a while, he's finally outside. Despite living in the quieter district in Konoha, there are still a lot of people around going about their daily lives. The area he's living in is a part of the market district, so it's normal for things to get a little bit busy. Even so, this particular area is fairly quiet when compared to the other ones. Naruto does not waste any time looking around, if there's a point on doing it in the first place. He immediately sets off to the academy in a steady place, while having an inner conversation with his tenant.

"Say, kid, are you going to really take your ninja career seriously?"

"Hm? What do you mean?"

" **I've been sealed inside of you before you even realized I exist, and it's easy to figure out that you're the kind of kid who's too lazy for his own good."**

Even if the fox's practically calling him a lazy ass, Naruto doesn't feel offended. "Well, in my defense, I'm not as lazy as you make me sound like. There's Shikamaru for that." the blonde refers to his Nara friend, who's (in?)famous for his laziness when it comes to life in general. "I'm just, as you've said before, unmotivated. Unless I find something that motivates me seriously, I won't do anything serious just yet."

" **But think about it kid. As a genin, you'll only get the lowest form of pay that a ninja could get. At least make it into a chunin."**

There are some truths in the fox's words and that gets him thinking. "Hm… even so, I could just do D-ranked mission and get money at a steady pace, right?"

" **Then you might as well find another career then, like a gardener or something. Because from my knowledge, D-ranked missions are practically chores that normal people are too lazy to do on their own."**

"…eh really?" the blonde frowns. "I thought that it'll involve organizing the ninja library's archive or even inspecting the armory's inventory or something."

" **Yeah…** _ **unlikely**_ **."**

"Damn." Bummed out, Naruto is slightly depressed. "So there's no point in becoming a ninja if I stay a genin forever, huh?"

" **That's basically it."**

The blonde goes silent, even the creature inside him is incapable of figuring out what he's thinking. If the creature has to guess, it's probably something to do with backup career decision. Sighing inwardly, the fox speaks out before his host could get lost deeper in his thoughts.

" **Stop thinking. Since you're my Jinchuriki, becoming a ninja is a compulsory thing."**

"Eh, why?!" Naruto sounds surprised.

" **Look, kid, you have the most powerful tailed beast sealed inside of you that could easily destroy mountains, dry the entire ocean and** **obliterate villages by a swing of his tail and you don't want to become a ninja?"** if the fox is irritated, then it's not showing it. **"It's like having the strongest weapon ever and not using it. Pointless."**

"When you put it like that…"

" **Listen here kid, the moment they put me inside of your stomach, you're basically a ninja already."**

"…gee…" the teen scratches his neck, not knowing what to say. "Still… can't I have some slacks cut for me? I house the world's baddest, strongest and deadliest demon; am I going to have to go through special trainings?"

" **Maybe, who knows what your Hokage has planned for you."**

* * *

"I've decided, Danzo."

Inside his office, one Sarutobi Hiruzen suddenly exclaims. "I'm going to train Uzumaki Naruto to be a proper ninja himself."

The former crippled teammate of the Hokage himself refrains from the overwhelming urge to hit his own face with his bandaged hand. "Hiruzen, while I approve the thought of training our Jinchuriki for the best of the village, it would only be a sign of favoritism on our part if we only train the boy alone."

Hiruzen gives his teammate a weird look, a mix between puzzlement and confusion. "Why is that a problem? I'm the Hokage after all and my word is law."

Danzo does not know what to say against that. It's true, but not quite literally. With several people agreeing to Hiruzen's request of forming a new law, then whatever his request – no matter how ridiculous or downright silly it is – will become law. And they're not a democracy in the first place.

"Still… it won't be good for your image if you maintain such behavior." Danzo remarks with a final tone.

"I see…" suddenly, the aged Hokage's face light up, as if a brilliant idea just struck him right on the head.

* * *

"…say what now?"

Uzumaki Naruto is not having a good day.

"You heard me right, Naruto." Chunin Umino Iruka looks at his student with an uneasy expression. He's reluctant about it himself, so the boy has to have it worse. "Orders came up and it says that you won't be getting a team, instead you'll work alone as an independent genin."

The rest of the class who is not a part of the conversation can only look and listen quietly, this is serious topic after all.

"Wait, what do you mean by that?" the blonde questions. "Working alone? How does that work?"

"Hm…" the teacher goes into thinking mode. "We actually have the same problem a few years back… there was an odd number of students who were about to graduate and we couldn't put everyone into squads, so we assigned those who had no team into the reserves to act as independent shinobi with an instructor looking over them. Not exactly what a jonin instructor would do, but pretty much the same." Iruka's frown deepens when the problem seems to crystallize. "But we have enough students to put into teams this year… I don't know what's going on."

Not knowing what to do, aside from accepting what's decided for him, Naruto slumps down his chair. _'Great, forget being a chunin when I'm not going to get a team in the first place.'_ The blonde gripes internally.

According to his knowledge, and Iruka's testimony earlier, graduates are grouped in a four-men cell along with a supervisor who will also act as an instructor. Then why isn't he on one? Iruka said that they have an even number of graduates, so what's the big deal? Who's issuing the orders? Deciding to make his question answered, Naruto raises his hand.

"Yes, Naruto?" Iruka responds to his blonde haired student's gesture.

"Iruka-sensei, may I know who… erm… issued the order?"

"Oh, it's the Hokage himself."

"…"

" **Well kid, sometimes, there are laws in the world that make things that could go wrong, go wrong. And things, for you, just went wrong."**

As he looks at the rest of his classmates leaving with their respective instructors, and wondering why he's in the kind of situation he's in, Naruto sits dejectedly on his desk waiting for someone or somebody to pick him up. Iruka sensei retreated to the faculty office earlier, telling him that he'll do further checking regarding his situation. He has to give props to the teacher, he's really serious and dedicated to his work.

" **You should take a page out of his book. Hell, take the whole book."**

…anyway, this whole deal doesn't make sense. Why him?

" **Isn't it obvious, kid? You're the Jinchuriki of the great Kyuubi no Kitsune, think of it as a privilege or something."**

Maybe they want to keep a close eye on him since he's the Jinchuriki!?

" **Yeah… just like what I'm trying to tell you."**

No… that can't be the only reason. There must be something else. Something else entirely, something secretive, something that they never would have wanted him to know…

" **Hm, and just what it could be?"**

Gasp!

" **Did you really just think 'gasp'?"**

The seal that's keeping the fox, is it breaking?!

" **I can assure you, as the fox that's trapped inside the seal, that it's still functioning a-okay."**

No… maybe not only that, maybe they also want him to try and harness the fox's power so that he could be Konoha's ultimate trump card!

"… **I really don't know what to think of that, but that actually makes sense."**

Regardless of the reasons that they may actually give him, he will have to be cautious. Becoming a ninja with no team to back him up will definitely be dangerous for him.

" _ **Now**_ **you're starting to make sense."**

But there's no work division, so that means he'll have to do all of the work himself! Dammit!

"… **aaaand we're back to square one. Look, kid, just go to the cafeteria, they have gyudon served today if I remember correctly."**

"Ah, no thanks, I'm Hindu." Naruto politely declines.

" **Oh my God, Naruto, but you ate beef a couple of times before!"**

"And I thank the cow Gods for their delicious sacrifice." Naruto admits sincerely.

" **Seriously, I don't know why I'm always stuck with the weird ones… all of my previous containers were weirdoes in their own rights."**

"Hey!" Naruto suddenly shouts. "One of them happened to be my mom, you idiot!"

" **Oh geez, why did I tell him about the truth in the first place?"**

Naruto scowls, something uncharacteristic for him to do since he's usually whining or groaning. "It's because you lost a bet, a stupid bet that involved certain political election somewhere in another country."

"… **does that mean you're stupid too, since you also took the bet?"**

"But there's a difference. I won, you none."

"… **fuck you too kid."**

"Yeah, no thanks, I don't swing that way."

After their small bickering, the quiet and relaxing atmosphere inside the classroom is interrupted by the sound of door sliding open. What follows next is surprising because, well, it's just that, surprising. A group of shady men dressed in cloaks and masks barges into the room, not giving time for Naruto to react. A moment later, with minimal struggling, they managed to bag the boy and disappear all at once. Several minutes passed and Iruka finally returned into the room, eager to talk to his remaining student, but the boy is no longer that.

"Oh, looks like they got to him first." The teacher concludes.

* * *

' _Oh God help me Kyuubi they're kidnapping me!'_

" **Oh relax, you've survived worse."**

' _Those were not kidnappings!'_

" **Yeah, so what are they then?"**

' _Those were… scams, yeah, scams!'_

" **HAH!"**

Uzumaki Naruto's mind is in shambles because currently he's literally stuffed inside a bag, carried by masked individuals with his chakra system bound by some sort of sealing tag. Not to mention, they used a paralyzing seal that prevents him from struggling or moving. Currently he can feel that his captors are bringing him somewhere through the roofs, he can feel the moving and shaking but nothing too sure. It's still evening, so any patrolling ninjas would be suspicious of seeing a group of masked men carrying a big sack. They should be. Now, the question is, why aren't they doing anything?!

" **I told you, just relax. This will probably turn out fine."**

' _You mean bad? Right?! You mean that it'll turn bad, right?!'_ the boy is panicking. Like this, he cannot do anything. He cannot reach for his pouch to grab a kunai due to the stupid paralyzing seal they tagged him with. It takes him everything he has to keep a straight mind. Instead of panicking, he'll think of a way out of this. Aside from the sealing tags, there's the problem of being stuck in a bag and a potential stand off against four or five mysterious assailants. He's confident in holding his own, but there's no telling how strong these guys are.

" **Let me give you a hand with that kid."** The demon speaks, grinning. **"Hah, you're out of luck, all of them are at least ANBU level."**

"…FUCK ME!" Naruto curses loudly. Even if he's bagged inside the sack, the person carrying him can still hear the muffled screaming.

Okay, so breaking free – if he could do it in the first place – is not an option because he'll have to deal with ANBU level mysterious strangers. So there's only one choice; let himself be kidnapped and then deal with the situation afterwards. But hell, he's not going to get kidnapped without a fight!

"Kurama, I need help over here!" the boy hisses desperately.

" **Now you're talking. Alright, what do you want me to do?"**

"The seals! Overload them using your chakra, they'll be useless in an instant." The blonde instructs the demon residing inside the seal.

Kurama lets out a set of interested chuckling, but complying nonetheless. **"There, done."** With a slight flare of his vile and ominous chakra, the paper seals used to restrain the boy are literally shredded into nonexistence. " **What next, kid?"**

"Wait a minute and let me reach for my pouch…!" the teen struggles to reach for his pouch. It's cramped as hell in here, he's even more surprised at how well he's breathing. Looks like those swimming lessons did him good after all. "I'm going to grab a replacement seal and do something I've never done before in my life."

" **Oh, and what is it?"**

"I'll replace myself with one of the masked guys that I tagged earlier when they bagged me in here!" the blonde says quickly. "Alright, got it!" with difficulty, he sticks the paper tag on the cloth material of the bag.

" **Wait, if you do that, you'll have to fight them off; you know?"** Kurama reminds the boy.

"I'll at least have a four second head start while they figure out what's going on, so help me with this seal already!" the blonde gripes.

" **Alright, sheesh… just a little bit of chakra, right?"**

"Just enough to make this whole thing work!" Naruto, despite how cramped and small the bag is, managed to form a ram seal with his fingers. "NOW!"

Kurama directs his chakra to the paper tag through Naruto. The seal used by the Yondaime to seal him prevents him from harming the boy, but it doesn't prevent the boy from trying to use his chakra. Well, technically, the boy can't use it on his own; he can't just forcibly take away his chakra from him, the boy needs his permission to do that. So, yes, he is helping the boy.

The seal, after it recognizes Kurama's chakra, began flaring. The function of this seal is simple really, so simple. Basically, it's a more practical use of the replacement technique that they taught in the academy. Basically, it involves tagging a certain object – or in this case someone – and teleport the target into the location where seal B is placed. Simple. However, it's not so simple if he's using it in this situation. See, he can only teleport whoever the poor bastard in here, but not teleport himself outside. He can do the teleportation technique and get out in the first place, but that'll leave him easy target with no distraction. So, he's going along with this.

Immediately, one of the masked individuals disappears, shocking the rest of his friends. Naruto, simultaneously, flares his chakra to perform the teleportation technique. Of course, being the more experienced Shinobi they are, the masked people notices Naruto suddenly appearing in thin air. The thought that goes along their head is 'that kid just pulled a kawamiri and replaced himself with one of us!'… or something like that. When actually, he didn't. Naruto makes the illusion of switching places with a random dude while in reality, it's far more complex than that.

Wait, if it's like that, then why not just use the replacement technique in the first place?

That, my friend, is why you should keep a clear head in situations like this.

"FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK!" Naruto, literally, runs like hell. His 'diversion' won't work for long, hell they're already chasing him at this point! He does not look back, he's too busy running to do that. It's nice that he's familiar with this area, so it'll make this game of cat and mouse last longer. Fighting is not option, they'll fuck him up if he fights. In the middle of running, Naruto is facing the edge of the building, but instincts kicked in and he does a huge leap that ends him up on another building.

" **They're still chasing you kid."**

'TELL ME SOMETHING I DON'T KNOW!' The teen mentally screams.

Kurama shrugs, he's getting a kick of seeing this hikkikomori blonde being chased around the block by a group of ANBU leveled Shinobi. He knows the kid and he could probably escape this with effort, but he's been lazy for the past few weeks, so it's his own fault if he gets caught. Thinking of getting caught… why's no one stopping this ridiculous charade? Do they get a kick of watching the kid being chased around town by shady masked people? If so, why did he attack this place in the first place?

Naruto bolts through the roof, he's not going to lose them if he's up here, he'll find better chances down there. Sliding down the edge of a short building, he dives into the crowd – thank god that there's a festival today. He makes sure to suppress his chakra, because he doesn't know whether or not they have a sensor with them. It's easier to lose them if he's minimizing his presence and the crowd should double the difficulty for them to find him. He steadies his pace, careful of not going too fast nor too slow. He needs to keep up with the crowd and make sure that his six is clear. He spots several masked men standing on the edges of building, looking out for him. But since he suppresses his chakra, they can't spot him immediately.

A normal person would probably walk into a quiet place at a moment like this, but doing that will only make the job easier for them. Masking his signature does not necessarily mean he's invisible. It only means that he's minimizing his chakra presence so that it would not stand out from the rest, since he has a lot of chakra, doing this step is helping him a whole lot in this situation. He's not in the clear just yet, but he can't just wander with the crowd hoping that he'll lose them either. He needs to get somewhere safe, somewhere they wouldn't attack.

And the nearest place from here is…

"Gramps' office!"

* * *

"…he's going to hate you, you know?"

"It's tough love."

"He's still going to hate you." Danzo deadpans.

Sarutobi Hiruzen, also known as The Professor or the Third Hokage of Konohagakure takes a leisure smoke from his pipe. The sensation of freshly ground tobacco enters and fills his system, it also helps relaxes his mind.

"You used five of my best men just so that they could pretend to kidnap the boy and bring him here?" Danzo asks, his tone remains a level one. "Don't you ever hear of something called a messenger?"

Hiruzen looks at his former teammate with an accusing glare. "Of course I have, I'm old, not dumb."

"Seeing what you just pulled makes me think otherwise... the boy is going to be angry when they arrive here with him." Danzo states calmly. Oh, he's anything but calm. He's just maintaining that calm and calculating grey colored crippled veteran who will secretly be the underdog of the series while being the voice of reason. Wait, what? In any case, he's worried that his former teammate will do something stupid, again.

"Let him be angry, then." Hiruzen puffs a cloud of smoke out from his mouth. "And let me be the one to handle him. If he's going to step into the life he's going to be living, he must deal with a few session of rough handling." The Hokage, seated on his desk, casually dismisses Danzo's worry.

"I still can't believe that you'll actually allow me to have anything to do with the boy." Danzo says.

Hiruzen's face scrunches in confusion. "Your point?"

Danzo opens his mouth, but he closes it back again, shaking his head in what seems to be… disappointment? _'How did this idiot become the Hokage again? Oh yeah, Tobirama-sensei used eenie meenie miney mo and the finger happened to land on him.'_

Man, their system is fucked up.

"Still, what are you going to do with this? Putting the boy in ROOT will make people question his whereabouts." Danzo says. "I really appreciate the thought that you trust me enough to handle the boy, but what will you make him do?" he pauses. "It will at least take ten months for me to prepare the boy into ROOT, another three years to develop him and another two to train him before he could even start to take missions."

"Do those then." Hiruzen's answer causes Danzo to almost trip despite being standing still. "Let's be honest here, Danzo. From whatever spying that your boys have done in the past, even those without my authorization, you figured out that the normal ninja lifestyle will not suit the boy. He needs something even grander, something that will keep him a ninja. I'm not about to put him into ANBU, because the boy would not last long if he's kept in an organization as stiff as ANBU."

Hiruzen takes his pipe off his mouth, just to inhale air.

"Your ROOT, however… is flexible. ROOT, upon its founding, was meant to do the things that ANBU could not do. It's meant to be an asset that Konoha could never lose." Hiruzen shakes his head. "You know this way more than I do, Danzo."

Danzo finds himself incapable of speaking, much less retorting to his former teammate's words. Hiruzen's method of becoming Hokage may be… er… crass and stupid, but he's everything a Kage should ever be.

"Now, where are those best men you spoke of? If they're as good as you made them sound, then they should already be here with Naruto-ku-"

 **KABLAM!**

The entire office shakes from it.

"GRAMPS! HELP! I HAVE MASKED NINJAS AFTER ME BUT I MANAGED TO GET AWAY FROM THEM AND-"

Danzo reacts as fast as the eye could see, which is pretty amazing since he's old and crippled. " **What** did you say boy?! Are you telling me that five of my best men, five of my **top commanders** failed in kidnapping you here?!"

Naruto, panicked and jumpy with the whole 'I was just kidnapped minutes ago' does not an old crippled guy gripping the collar of his jacket while demanding him impossible questions. "Yeah, I di-HEY WAIT A MINUTE!" The boy's shrimp sized brain finally realizes what is wrong with the picture. "Are you telling me that you're the guy who's responsible for my attempted kidnapping?!"

"I am." No hesitation.

"…Pft!" Both Naruto and Danzo glare at the Hokage, who's trying his best to hide his laughter… and failing in doing so.

"In any case, child," Danzo redirects the boy's attention back to him. "Are you really telling me that you managed to escape from a well-coordinated kidnapping from five of my best men?" Naruto takes a step back from the serious tone the crippled old man is using at him.

"Well, I don't know about well-coordinated…" he trails off, before getting back into topic. "Anyway, why would you send those guys after me?! I didn't do anything wrong did I?"

Hiruzen immediately intercepts, before Danzo could pester the boy with even more pointless questions. Well, they're not really pointless since he's also curious on how the boy managed to escape from five highly trained ROOT shinobi. "Aside from not attending the academy twice a week, you did nothing wrong, Naruto-kun. I'm surprised you even bother attending your graduation." Hiruzen is honest with his surprise, making the boy's slothful nature even more obvious.

"I had my… _consciousness_ to thank for that." the blonde replies sourly and regretfully.

" **You're welcome too, kid."**

"Back to topic… you don't have to worry about getting kidnapped or anything, Naruto-kun." Hiruzen says, rousing confusion from the boy. "I had those men pretend to kidnap you in order to bring you here, I hope they weren't too forceful."

Naruto is slackjawed. He mouths incoherent words, most of them being incredulous ones. "'PRETEND'?! THEY WERE LEGIT **KIDNAPPING** ME NOT MORE THAN THIRTY MINUTES AGO AND YOU SAID THAT THEY WERE ' **PRETENDING'**?!" He draws in air. "And 'forceful'? THEY BAGGED ME IN A FREAKING **SACK** YOU OLD COOT!"

Instead of looking sorry, much less apologizing, Hiruzen dismisses the boy's fury with several waves of his hand. "Don't sweat the small stuff, consider them first-hand experience in becoming a ninja."

"Are you telling me that your ninja get kidnapped and bagged in sacks in the daily?"

"No, now they're stuffed in cardboard boxes, because they're a whole lot cheaper." The Hokage replies normally.

"WHO FUCKING CARES!"

"Hey watch your language young man!"

"SUCK IT OLD MAN!"

Danzo sighs. Stupidity… the bread and butter of potential geniuses. Coughing loudly to grab the two bickering souls who are currently arguing, Danzo succeeds in getting their attention. "Can we get to the point of the boy's presence here, Hiruzen?"

"Ah, yeah, ahem, I was just about to go there…"

"Like hell you were!" Naruto and Danzo scream as one.

"Anyway, Naruto-kun, you must be surprised about your lack of team, aren't you?" Finally, they're down to business.

"Hell yeah I am." Naruto scowls with rightful annoyance. "I'm not going to be an 'independent' genin or whatever you call them. There's literally no labor division in working alone!"

"Oh?" Hiruzen faux surprise. "If you work alone, you will get to have all of the pay to yourself, you know? There's no need to divide them equally or anything like that."

Naruto flinches, but later, he shakes his head. "Nuh uh. Not going to work old man. Genins can only take D-ranked missions, especially a fresh graduate like me, and those missions pay half of my usual allowance."

"Hm…" Hiruzen begins to stroke his beard. He just needs to play this right. "Then, how about this. I have an interesting offer for you, Naruto-kun." Hiruzen gestures to his former teammate. "That man over there is Danzo, he is my old teammate when I was still under the guidance of an instructor. Danzo over here trains some of the best shinobi that Konoha has to offer and they are put in an organization called ROOT."

"…ROOT?" Naruto tilts his head, asking. "You mean like the tree?"

"No, it's the metaphysical location that acts as the "force" that exists at the top of all theories in every dimension, as well as the source of all events and phenomena in the universe." The Hokage deadpans.

"…"

"…"

Hiruzen sighs. "Yes, the tree. Anyway, these ROOT ninjas are special. Even more special than my ANBUs." Hiruzen can see the spark of interest showing from the boy's eyes. A little more and he'll have this in the bag! "ROOT ninjas are trained by Danzo here and the training, while harsh, exhilarating, cruel, mind breaking, torturing, hell trudging, painful, traumatizing, mind bending, ass-"

"Can we please skip that part?!" The teen exclaims.

"…okay… where was I…" Hiruzen remembers. "Oh, right, ROOT shinobis are trained by Danzo and his trusted men. They are on par with the ANBU we all know and fear today. However, here's where you'll get lost, ROOT shinobis are not registered as Konoha shinobis." Hiruzen resumes just before Naruto could ask. "The reason is because it is an organization that's meant to be even more secretive than the ANBU. They deal with jobs similar to what an ANBU would do, but they are not bound by standard Konoha shinobi rules… I'll leave that part to Danzo to elaborate further later on when you accept your new career." Hiruzen pauses. "Now, questions?"

"Just two."

"Okay, shoot."

"One. So basically, I'm going to be a part of a very shady organization that can potentially go against Konoha?"

"Basically, yes, but we'll talk later about that last part." Hiruzen nods, before gesturing him to continue.

"Last one… what makes so sure that I'm going to accept this bullshit?"

Hiruzen gives the boy a douche-y grin. "What makes you think that you'll be allowed out of here after learning all of the things that I've said?"

The teen slowly raises his hand. He opens his mouth, then it shuts close again, with the hand limping back to his side. "There's no way out of this, is there?" he turns his head to Danzo who shakes his head slowly.

"Well," Naruto breathes in. "fuck me."

* * *

 **I really hope you enjoyed this first chapter and understood my humor. I'm still new at this so I apologize if there're mistakes in this first chapter. I'm trying to bring out a new type of character in Naruto, and I'm a hundred percent sure that his character is something that some of you guys can probably relate to.**

 **Now, regarding the story, this story is put in the comedy genre. COMEDY. Comedy is subjective – then again, what aren't subjective these days? – and what I find funny you may not. COMEDY is meant to be enjoyed, it's meant to get all of us laughing together instead of laughing at someone. We're supposed to enjoy it. Satirical jokes, political memes, offensive humor… they're all comedy and I'm hoping that at the end of the day, we will all laugh at it together not against each other.**

 **Aside from that… hope you don't mind me dropping a few references, dank memes, parodies, corny one liners, cheesy one liners, cringey jokes and anything remotely similar to me trying to make this story funny. I know you guys love your references, dank memes, corny one liners, cheesy one liners and cringey jokes.**

 **In other words, what I'm trying to say is, DON'T GET OFFENDED.**

 **At the end of the day, this story is just fiction and there's nothing you can do about it aside from flaming this story which is something I can totally ignore because I'm used to being burned IRL.**

 **With that said… goodbye.**

 **P.S: Oh, and one more thing, I hope you guys like waiting, because the next chapter is going to take a while.**


	2. Chapter 2

"Uuuuugghh… Kurama… I don't want to go…" the boy groans in a pathetic manner, but despite that he is still making an effort to walk the streets towards his destination.

" **Don't whine kid, you're attracting unnecessary attention to yourself. At least keep it mental."** The fox points out the reason why Naruto have been receiving weird stares from the people he passed.

" _But I'm off to some shady ass place and about to join the shady organization that runs that place!"_ the boy screams through their mental link. _"I want to be a ninja, but at I at least want to be a genin not a freaking black ops member right from the bat after graduating!"_

" **Relax kid, they probably won't make you do anything serious yet. There's still the orientation stage, you know?"** Kurama points out. **"They won't let a newbie like you, a literal one, do something as crazy as joining the most skilled members of their organization on a mission so important that it could affect the well-being of Konoha."**

" _Well… I suppose you're right."_ But the frown remains on his face. Somehow, he gets the feeling that something isn't quite right. _"Aw who am I kidding with, this whole shit isn't right!"_

" **I said relax."** The fox grumbles, a little bit annoyed. **"That monkey may be an idiot for letting a brat like you join a super-secret organization like ROOT, but he's not the Hokage for nothing. We're talking about the old man who can fight me head on, so he's got to have some sort of plan."**

"… _are you sure we're talking about the same old man?"_

" **I'm sure."**

Naruto sighs. _"Anyway, I'll try to do my best on not bailing this whole thing. I'll be honest; I'm also interested in what's in store for me."_

" **Hm? It's rare seeing you this willing to participate in something new. What's the matter, you got good dreams last night or something?"**

" _No, it's just that I'm curious and interested that's all."_ Naruto says honestly. _"ROOT… I wonder what kind of people are in there? Let's just hope that they're not a group of murderous sociopaths with the tendency to harm or maim anything on the spot."_

The fox, inside the seal, guffaws. **"HAHAHA! What makes you think like that kid? HAHAHA!"**

" _Hey!"_ the blonde shouts mentally. _"This is serious, Kurama."_ Even his mental tone is turning into a serious one. _"I'm going to be working with shady people here, what kind of things should I expect if not those?"_

" **Hah! Well, you're kind of right. Just remember not to drop the soap when you're showering kid. Good luck."** With that, the fox cuts off the mental link, probably off getting his beauty sleep or something.

"Drop the soap… what the hell is that fox talking about…" mumbles the boy quietly since the last thing he need is more people looking at him weird.

He quickly addresses that problem. "Oh come on, am I **that** weird?!"

Everyone looks away.

* * *

 _Think: Am I lazy? Or am I just plain unwilling to continue this life of mine?_

 _The only thing that has kept me from literally giving up on life is my unhealthy obsession with ramen… as what my tenant would say. But you know what, I can't help but agree._

 _Everybody keeps on saying 'do your homework', 'go to school', 'get out and spend time with your friends'… hey, if I have that last one then I'll do it without hesitating. I'm what people would call a lazy person. While it is not as evident and as strong as a certain pineapple headed boy I know, they still label me as lazy._

 _Opinions are subjective, but I can't help but think they're wrong._

 _No, they_ _ **are**_ _wrong._

 _I'm not lazy… at least not in the way they make me sound like._

 _I'm just… unsure._ _ **Uncertain**_ _,_ _ **unmotivated**_ _…_ _ **lost**_ _. I've been living my life for thirteen years now and throughout those long years; I can't help but think,_

' _Hey, when are you going to actually do something?'_

 _My own self was questioning me with an answer that I could never answer. At that moment, I realized that there is nothing I could do to rid me of this disease. I call it a disease because it consumes me… and that fox would definitely agree. So here you are thinking, 'if he's fully aware of the situation, then why isn't he doing anything about it?'_

 _Well, folks, that's just the way I am._

 _I'm lost._

 _After all, how am I going to move forward when I don't even know the way back?_

* * *

"So… this is the place, huh?"

The boy wonders with a voice full of disbelief.

"Can't say I'm expecting more." Naruto mumbles.

Can you blame him? When he thinks of a place occupied by a secret organization so secret that they are not listed within Konoha's ranks, he thinks of underground bases with a vault like entrance or even a hidden fortress somewhere in the deepest part of Fire Country's forest and jungles. He was expecting those. Not a freaking two storied house with a nice veranda, white fences and a freaking flower garden in front of it.

"HELL THIS PLACE WASN'T EVEN THAT FAR FROM MY APARTMENT!" Naruto cannot contain his outburst any longer. His sudden burst of emotion draws attention to him, but he doesn't care at all. The boy face palms so hard that it's sure to leave a mark on his face. "I really need to throw away common sense for a moment here."

Sighing, he approaches the front door of the house with his personal feelings suppressed. He rubs his soles several times on the mat that says 'WELCOME' written in caps before laying three gentle knocks on the door.

"Excuse me is anybody home?" he asks with a semi-loud voice. After a moment, he can feel vibrations coming from the house, and the more he hears them, the easier for him to recognize the noise. Footsteps. The boy takes one step back, while whoever is inside opens the door for him.

The door squeaks open and reveals a woman.

"Eh…" the boy struggles to speak. "I'm Uzumaki Naruto and-wait," the boy's tone becomes flat. "Why are you wearing a mask?"

Indeed as he has said. The woman, discerned by the long hair and figure she has, is wearing a blank porcelain mask. The uniform, mask and sword strapped to the woman's back makes it easier for Naruto connect the dots. "Are you sure that it's fine for you to come out dressed like that?"

The woman, unreadable due to the accessory covering her face, tilts her head as a way to show her confusion. "What do you mean? I'm always dressed like this."

Naruto opens his mouth, but he closes it again, figuring out that that's a path he doesn't dare to tread. "Anyway… miss, is this the place?" the blonde asks whisperingly.

"It is, you have come at the right time too." the woman steps back. "Please, come in."

"Uh… sure. Excuse me." Naruto steps inside of the house and he's already taking off his sandals. He's taken back at how normal-looking this house is. Aside from the lack of pictures on the wall or color for that matter, this house looks fairly normal. The hallway extends to the back and there's a flight of stairs to reach the second floor. He's not sure what he's doing here but if this really is ROOT's hideout… then he does not know what to say.

"Please take a seat in the living room, we will begin our session shortly." She leads him to the living room.

'Session…?' Naruto thinks as he sits down on one of the couch. Again, this place is normal-looking. The living room is lightly furnished, with only two chairs and sofas – one of each –, a television, a wall clock, a coffee table and a vase with flowers arranged in it.

' _I… what am I going to be doing here?'_ he's asking these questions mentally, because it'll only be rude if he's asking this out loud. Also, he's not really comfortable when it comes to talking with people, even those he knew.

Moments later, the woman returns to the living room with a tray of tea on her hands. "Please, have one." She offers politely, gesturing to a mug.

"Ah, thanks." Naruto accepts the tea. He sips and he feels slightly comfortable and warm.

"So, you are Uzumaki Naruto-kun, huh?"

"Yes I am."

She pauses, leaving him silence for a moment.

"Alright, we will begin our session." But before she could proceed or anything, Naruto raises his hand as if he's back at the academy. "What is it, Uzumaki Naruto-kun?"

"Eh… do you mind explaining to me what is it I'm really doing here? They really didn't tell me anything aside from going to this place."

The woman nods, but she's not giving Naruto the answer he wants. "I understand your confusion, but I am not allowed to answer questions like that. Now, let us begin the session."

"…alright then."

The woman nods professionally.

"I am going to ask you several questions and you must answer them. There is no wrong or correct answer, but please do try to answer them as honestly as possible." She begins in a robot like manner. "First question, how many times do you masturbate in a week?"

"Fou-WAITWAITWAITWAITWAITWAITWAIT!" Naruto jumps to his feet. With a face that could easily rival a tomato, he points a finger at the woman. " **WHAT** KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT?!"

The woman tilts her head again, as a way to express her confusion. "It is the question that you need to answer, now please, answer."

"NO NO!" He crosses his arms in pure rejection. "There's no way I'm going to answer that!"

The woman's blank mask seems to be staring at him, even if it lacks two holes where the eyes are supposed to be at. "Hm… I'll take that as a skip, then, second question,"

Naruto sighs in relief.

"Do you prefer breasts or thighs?"

He chokes on air.

"AGAIN! WHAT'S WITH THE QUESTIONS?!" he demands with a red face.

"Not going to answer again? Well let's proceed to the ne-"

"NO! If you're going to ask me those kinds of questions, then no!"

Naruto may not see it, but he can feel her staring at him from underneath her mask. "I see… you're a hard brat to please, aren't you?"

"YOUR CHARACTER JUST SLIPPED DIDN'T IT?!"

"Third question." She ignores him. "For these questions, I want you to answer in either yes, no, absolutely yes, absolutely no or no comment." She informs him. "Third question… I prefer to use my fist in solving situations."

Swallowing down the lumps of air that has gathered from his continuous tsukkomical outburst, Naruto rests on his seat as an attempt to calm himself down. "…No…"

"Fourth question, I dislike talking to people."

The blonde teen looks away. "…No comment."

"Fifth question, I prefer outdoors rather than indoors."

The teen puts some thoughts into it. "No."

"Sixth question, I love watching my enemies suffer."

"Absolutely no." he deadpans.

"Seventh question, people annoys me."

"Uh… is there any way that I can say maybe for this?"

"Just say yes, it'll make it easier for me to reevaluate."

"Okay… then, uh, yeah."

The woman nods. "Last question. Do you believe in our Lord and Savior the Holy Log?"

This time, he shakes his head politely and seriously as he can. "Absolutely not, I'm Hindu."

Underneath the mask, the woman's eyes narrow. "I see. That was it for this reevaluation and from the results…" she takes like about ten seconds to review the things she wrote down on the board she's carrying. "I concur that you are mentally stable, physically fit and perfect to be a formal member of ROOT, congratulations Uzumaki Naruto-kun." She stands and walks up towards him, giving him a handshake.

"…Wut?"

" **See, told you that it'll all be fine."**

"Now," The woman disappears from her spot in front of the sofa. Now, she's near the fireplace. She pulls down a lever located right beside the fireplace. The positioning makes it easy to mistake the lever for a candle holder. Right after she pulls the lever, the fireplace opens up in a complex mechanism that reveals a long chasm like tunnel that goes down, way down the basement. "get in the hole."

"Excuse me?" the boy asks in a very small voice.

"Get in the hole, it's time for you to meet your new family." The masked woman replies blandly. "We do not have time to spare, Uzumaki Naruto-kun, please get in the hole."

"No! That's way too suspicious!" he refuses strongly, to a point where he's raising his voice.

"And you think joining ROOT isn't?" the woman deadpans.

"You… have a point." The boy admits in an equally deadpan tone.

He goes down the hole in the end.

* * *

"Danzo-dono, the recruit has entered our den."

Inside a dark, suspicious and overall shady room, Danzo sits behind his desk on a worn out armchair. One of his captains, not important enough to be named, is currently kneeling on one knee in front of him with his head bowed. The operative is dressed in full attire, being the standard ROOT uniform and armor and mask, as well as a white parka worn over everything else to signify his status as captain.

"Good." Danzo replies monotonously. "Bring him here immediately and bring me Squad 69. Tell them that they are getting a new member."

"Yes, Danzo-dono." The ROOT disappears into the shadows, as if he was never there in the first place.

Now alone in his dark office, Danzo begins to mull over his current dilemma.

"Uzumaki Naruto… Hiruzen… I may not know what's going on in that crazy head of yours, but if it's a shinobi you want…"

The crippled man stands, albeit in his own pace.

"Then it's a shinobi you'll get."

 **KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK**

"Who is it?"

" _Sir, it's time for your medication."_

"Ah, get in, please."

" _Right away."_

He'll shape Uzumaki Naruto into one of Konoha's finest shinobi… but not before taking his meds.

* * *

 **Tap tap tap tap…**

"Hey, let me ask you one question." In the midst of their uncomfortable walking, Naruto speaks out.

"…"

"We…We're lost, aren't we?"

"…Uzumaki Naruto-kun… I would really appreciate it if you could keep quiet throughout the duration of the trip."

' _Uwaaah she's totes mad…!'_ the blonde gulps. "S-Sure…" he squeaks out in a very small voice.

They have been walking for what seems to be hours.

" **You've been walking for about three hours and forty minutes give or take…"**

The boy face palms softly, not wanting to alert the woman. If they are lost, which is the possible situation right now, then he's just going to end up wasting time. He could have gone back home, eat some ramen and maybe have a quick nap before having to go out and eat ramen again for dinner. It seems that it's impossible now, since they're taking forever to find the correct path.

The only thing that accompanies the two, aside from the dimly lit candles that lights halls of this sewer like tunnels, is silence herself. And silence is a bitch for making the mood awkward. Naruto, being the socially awkward hikkikomori he is, cannot stand the silence. He'd rather die being stuck in a crowd of people rather than going out like this. At the very least, he should try to strike something up.

"Uh… the weather… the weather's good, isn't it?"

"Um."

' _LIKE HELL IT IS WE'RE NOT EVEN ABOVE GROUND!'_ The boy begins to mentally stab himself repeatedly with a kunai. _'I… I need to try something else, something that will last longer.'_ He takes a deep breath. "Ano… eh… miss, it seems that I haven't got your name yet…"

"Ah, really?" the woman replies.

' _Yosh, we're getting somewhere!'_ Naruto nods, a little bit glad that he's able to strike a conversation with anyone other than the old man or Iruka. "Y-Yeah! I was just wondering and… eh…"

"Hm… my name is Kuu. No last name." Kuu says in her muffled voice.

"K-Kuu-san, huh? What an unusual name." he pictures himself hitting his head hard. _'SHIT! Why did I say that? Now she's going to get mad…!'_

"It should be. After all, none other listed within ROOT has that codename. That codename is unique to me only." Kuu informs like a robot of some sort, as if she's reading from a book.

"Eh? It's a codename, not your real name?" this seems to be confusing for the boy.

"The only name we need is the one given to us by Danzo-sama."

For some reason, for Naruto, he can tell that she's totally insistent about it. Oh well, if it's like that, he'll probably figure it out later. "S-So, Kuu-san, are we there yet?"

"…no."

Naruto sighs.

This is going to be a long wa-

"We're here."

-lk… or not.

The duo stops in front of a metal door like hatch stuck to a wall that marks as the end of this tunnel like hall. Kuu steps forward and begins interacting with the door. Naruto observes her operating the locking mechanism of the door, he's able to conclude that it is what it is because whatever it was that she did, it makes the door open. Inside, Naruto is amazed at how large this place is. Not only there's a long ass tunnel that they managed to get lost at for more than three hours, there's also this cistern like place where there're… people.

There are masked people everywhere. All of them are dressed similarly like Kuu. None of them are looking at him, seems like they're busy with a schedule or something.

"I see that you have arrived, Kuu."

Naruto is interrupted from his inner musings by another source of muffled voice coming from another owner of a blank white porcelain mask. This time, however, the person is a tall male; dressed in similar attire as Kuu and is also carrying a sword on his back. This person has messy black hair, but he's one to say.

"Captain." Kuu salutes formally. "I have brought our newest member."

"Good, Kuu. Please return to the mission room for debriefing, go get some rest and prepare yourself for another mission." The captain speaks in a straightforward and detached tone, really bringing out how professional looking he is. But the white mask is a little bit too creepy for Naruto. "I'll take things from here."

"Yes sir."

Naruto watches as Kuu dissolves into thin air. Literally dissolve, as in she transforms into water particles before completely becoming one with air. "Now, you are Uzumaki Naruto, the newest member of our family." He's brought back to attention by the captain's voice. "Starting from now on, you are an official member of ROOT. We are your family and you are ours. Family look out after each other and family cares for each other. Family does not betray each other, instead they help each other. As a family, we work together to protect the great tree that is Konoha and we are its roots."

If he was slightly creeped out before, he's freaked out now. "Er…?"

"Follow me, we are going to get you your uniform." The captain begins walking, not even bothering gesturing Naruto to follow him.

Still confused and creeped out, Naruto cannot do anything aside from following the captain. The captain takes him deeper into the cistern, making him wonder just how big this place really is. As they walk, he notices the increase in the number of people. All of them are dressed in the same uniform and mask, the only difference is the gender and hairstyle. They walk the same way, has the same posture… as if they're clones.

The walk turns out to be a fifteen minute walk conquered in silence. The passing ROOT operatives are doing nothing in particular, they are just hanging around with seemingly nothing to do. After some more walking, the captain leads Naruto into another part of the facility, where there's actually activity. There's a canteen on the floor he's at, there's more upstairs and probably more on the floor above that.

Instead of going up, the captain takes him further down, as if they aren't deep underground enough. Once underground, underneath underground, Naruto picks up the strong and piercing stench of metal and alloy. He may not have a strong nose like the Inuzukas, but any normal people could smell the scent of metal especially when it's this strong. The underground section leads up to a door and once the captain opened that door, Naruto knows why this place reeks of metal.

Basically, this place is the armory. There are tons of weapons here, he's not even exaggerating it. There are a variety of weapons, all of them unique in style, kind and craft. There are swords, varying from long ones to short ones, spears, bows and arrows, kusarigama's, assortment of kunai's and shuriken's, tekko-kagis's, shinobi knuckle dusters or tekken's, senbon or chakra sensitive needles, grappling hooks, smoke bombs, sealing tags… there's a lot of lethal stuffs in here.

The captain gestures him to wait while he ventures further into the weapon storage section. After waiting for approximately three minutes or so, the captain returns with three things in his hands. One is several pieces of clothing folded together, the second is a blank white mask and third is a short ninjato held in his other hand since his first one is occupied with the mask and clothing.

"Starting from today, this will be your new attire." He hands the items over to Naruto. "Now, I will take you to your quarters."

They return a level above, where the canteen is at and the captain takes him up the stairs. The levels above the canteen are actually the quarters, but the way they are lined up, metal doors and all, makes them look as if they are prison cells. He follows the captain's lead and ends up in one of the quarters. The interiors are just like he imagines them to be. Totally bland, a bed, a small desk, a dresser, a small bin on the corner and one light source that pretty much lights up the whole damn room.

"This is your quarters and the key is inside the drawer in that desk over there. Now, Danzo-sama requires your presence, let us meet him." the captain touches Naruto on the shoulder and they are teleported instantly into another part of the base.

"Whoa…" he stumbles unprofessionally when the teleportation technique does what it's supposed to do. "That was… trippy…"

"You'll have to get used to that kid, cuz it looks like you'll be doing it often."

The blonde's face scrunches up in slight irritation. _'Yeah, thanks for the tip, Kurama.'_

"Am I so distasteful that you really find the need to make that sort of expression?" the sudden sound of Danzo's voice questioning Naruto makes the boy jump a few inches to the air.

The elderly man is sitting behind his desk, his stoic and bandaged face is seemingly looking at him with expectancy. Naruto swallows hard, he cannot let this man know that he's able to talk with the Kyuubi.

"Uh, I was just surprised, Danzo…sama." Naruto does his best to make his voice sound sincere, but all that does is emit a snort of amusement from the old man.

"Your reaction is exactly how I expect it would be, boy." The man's voice is heard clearly by the boy. "To call me 'sama' as soon as you're brought here makes me think that you're just too interested for this. But I'm sorry to inform you boy, ROOT is far from interesting… we are… not the least a bit of it."

' _Yeah… I can see that alright.'_ Naruto wisely keeps his thoughts to himself.

"Now, boy, before we begin… do you have any questions that you want answered? Ask now, because the moment you begin, you will be treated as a ROOT soldier; not Uzumaki Naruto anymore." Basically, he'll lose his rights to ask questions so he should not be wasting his time now.

"I highly advise you ask him what's been bugging your mind, kid. This man may look like your typical crippled old dude that lives right down the lane before the bakery, but believe me kid, the last thing that you'd want to do is ignore this man's wisdom. He's that monkey's teammate, remember? Ask him stuffs, that'll probably ease your mind."

He finds himself agreeing with Kurama, something pretty rare because they pretty much argue over the littlest of things from time to time. "If so then I have one." He sees Danzo's thin eyes rising a little bit. "Will I get paid?"

"…" Danzo doesn't say anything, he just sits there.

"…" The captain is still where he's standing the moment he teleported inside the room, right beside Naruto.

"…you will get paid. Discuss that with our management division later."

"Wow, you have a management team?"

"Of course we do, who do you think we are, a group of boy scouts trying to sell cookies?" the man deadpans. "Anyways, are you sure that that's your only question? Don't play me for a fool boy, out with it."

"Um… I may not know much about becoming a member of a special operations cell but I will be put in a team, right?"

Danzo nods. "You will, in fact, I am just about to let you meet them." As soon as Danzo says this, there are three consecutive knocks on the door of the. "Speak of the devils, here they are."

The door swings open slowly, and four uniformed people enter the room in an orderly manner. On normal occasions, they would not bother to use the door, since they're ninjas whatnot but for this occasion, they're specifically instructed to use the doors by Danzo himself because he wants to show that they do have order under here. The four masked ROOT personnel are all female, identified by their figure and form. The moment Naruto looks at them, he recognizes one of them instantaneously.

"Ah, Kuu-san!"

"Uzumaki Naruto-kun." Kuu gives him a brief acknowledgement.

"Meet your new team, boy. Squad 69, members are Kuu, Shi, Iyo and squad captain Rei. They will be your new squad members starting from now on and you will be under the responsibility of squad captain Rei." Danzo introduces the four female operatives to the rookie. "Your squad will be with you whenever you partake in any team mission, but individual efficiency is still highly practiced so do not rely on them too much."

Naruto gulps hard.

"…but you're somewhat of a special case, given since you are still new to the shinobi life." Danzo says monotonously. "Which is why I am also assigning them to be your instructors. Kuu will be instructing you in our foundation's history and everything that has to do with being a member of ROOT. Shi will be your combat instructor, she will drill you how a ROOT ninja fights and make sure that you are capable of surviving out there. Iyo is the squad's medic, she will teach you what there is to know about keeping yourself fit and healthy for the job. And Rei… Rei will be your psychologist. She will not only be there for you to consult your mental health with, she will also train you to develop a mind that will not break even under the most extreme pressure."

Throughout the whole duration of Danzo's introduction of his new team members, Naruto is having an internal conversation with his tenant. And it's a weird one.

 _'I'm the only guy in the squad? Man, that's a bummer.'_

 **"Are you seriously complaining kid? Most men would have the opposite reaction if they ever end up in your shoes, minus the whole joining a shady organization part. But really? You're complaining about being grouped in a squad full of females? And I thought you're straight kid…"**

 _'I am! I just… well… it's awkward, Kurama. I barely talk to people, much less girls!'_

 **"Ah, that's your own dilemma then."**

 _'Yeah, screw you too buddy.'_

 **"Sorry, don't swing that way."**

Naruto tunes out his and his tenant's mental link to return to reality. It seems that Danzo has just finished introducing the ladies.

"Now, boy, your training begins now and I'm sure that your squad have prepared everything for you." Konoha's spymaster says to the boy. "All of you are dismissed."

The ROOT ninjas inside the room, minus Naruto, gives Danzo a salute before exiting the room or teleporting in the captain's case. Once outside, Naruto follows his new squad mates, keeping a good distance as he walks. This does not goes unnoticed by the captain of the group, Rei.

"Uzumaki-kun, what are you doing all the way back there?" she and the rest of her female squad members watch the boy who is walking a couple of meters away from them. They all halt their walking. "Come walk with us, you are now a member of squad 69, there is no need to be nervous."

"She's right." A slightly chipper voice speaks out. It's Shi. She nods, her hair waving slightly from the motion. "Don't be so tense, Naruto-kun, we're all practically family now that we're in the same squad."

Iyo, the medic of the team, steps forward and walks toward the boy. She gives him her hand and the only thing that Naruto could do is watch it. "I understand that you're nervous, Naruto-san, but try to relax; it's unbecoming of a ROOT to act like so."

Kuu has no words to say. She, out of everyone else in the group, has gotten more scene time after all.

"Y-Yes…" Naruto slowly and shyly takes Iyo's hand. "I'll try…"

If it weren't for the masks, he could've probably seen the smile on their faces.

Their sadistic smile.

* * *

"IS THIS WHAT YOU MEANT BY TRAINING?!"

"YEAH BASICALLY!"

"SPEWING FIREBALLS TO MAKE ME RUN WHILE TAGGING ME WIGHT TWENTY KILO WEIGHT SEALS IS NOT TRAINIIIIIIING!"

"AHAHAH! Look at the newbie running, it reminds me of my first day in ROOT!" Rei laughs jollily as she observes her assault specialist Shi spewing fireballs at Naruto, who's dressed like any other ROOT ninja, while he's running away desperately to evade them. They are currently at ROOT's many underground training grounds. Unlike normal ninjas who live on the surface, they do not have access to an open world training area. So they have to make do with what they got.

The training area is made to replicate your typical combat environment. Trees are planted to allow immersion, there's no grass though, and there are also small streams located in the area that serves as another form of immersion for the trainees. In short, this place is basically a manmade forest built to prepare trainees for combat. As for lighting, they have huge electrical lights posted on the ceiling. There are also other kinds of training areas in the base and may or may not include CQC purposed environment, mountain terrains, urban environment and even underground shafts.

Yeah, most of the budget spent on ROOT was for the training areas.

"WHOA!" Naruto is definitely not having a fun time. He's being chased by a crazy, psycho and battle frenzied maniac who's spitting out flames just so she could see how fast he could run. All this time he's done nothing but evade Shi's fireballs and getting caught, he cannot find the opportunity to perform a counter attack, much less carry out one.

Shi's really fast. He cannot trace her movement and she does not know restrain. Just earlier, she made a twenty cubic meter sized fireball and she made it for him. Thankfully, he was lucky that he was able to evade that by reacting barely fast enough to avoid being pulverized to death. Now he's still being chased by the battle frenzied maniac and he's thinking of a way to counter her attacks.

" **Be smart kid. She looks to be a fighter, not a thinker. If you think, you might just beat her."** Is the fox's wise advise but it doesn't really help or whatsoever.

"Shit shit shit! Ah, I still have those seals with me!" he grunts as he moves from tree to tree. The weight seals they put on him is really slowing him down. "I gotta to this and make it work otherwise I'll die!"

What he's looking for are his explosive tags. He has an arsenal of tags in his inventory and right now is the perfect time to use them. He figures that fighting Shi straight on would be a death wish, so he'll have to use a little bit of cunning against her. The tags he's going to use compromises of a complex triple hexed and a four dimensional seal matrix made by chakra laced ink that he managed to acquire through… private means. They are expensive, especially the ink and paper, but the seals he made himself. The difference between a normal explosive tag is that they are made from a single hexed and only a one dimensional matrix with no special measures aside from exploding, but the ones he made are special because it's way stronger than ten of your normal explosive tags combined.

He tested it before and the results were devastating. The crater's still there on training ground six if he's not mistaken.

"I'll need to get her attention before I use this, a diversion!" Naruto retrieves a kunai with his other free hand and chucks it to the woman who's chasing him.

She tilts her head sideways to avoid the incoming projectile. This is sadly useless because the kunai Naruto threw is actually a kunai with explosive seals etched into it. The result is pretty self-explanatory. Shi, in her maddened state, does not have enough time to react as the kunai explodes into millions of pieces. Explosions and metal shrapnel fly everywhere. The explosion was quite large, twice what a normal explosive tag would do, but if the explosion won't get her, then perhaps the shrapnel will slow her down. Naruto is panicking. Not because of the fight, but by the fact that he just exploded a fellow squad member.

On a safe distance, squad leader Rei watches with interest at what has just occurred. "Oh? The boy's smart enough. I didn't see any paper tags attached to that kunai he threw, don't tell me…"

"You're right." Iyo sums up her captain's thoughts. "The boy knows fuinjutsu… does Danzo-sama knows about this?"

Kuu lands nearby her two teammates. "No. Neither did I."

Rei, if not for the mask obscuring her face, looks at her face as if she's done just the oddest of things. "But weren't you the one ordered to question him?"

"I did. I just didn't find anything worth questioning about his abilities at first glance." She watches the scenery before her, of trees and dust being blasted off into the air. "…I regret it."

"Well, there's nothing we could do about that." Iyo speaks. "We'll leave the revelation part to Shi, what she's doing right now is making the boy reveal more of his abilities after all." She pauses, her eyes trailing sideways. "Aaaand somebody mind explaining what's a scarecrow doing here?"

"Oh that? It's the rookie's, I wonder what he's planning on doing with it."

The three females found their gaze directed at the scarecrow which is currently set sitting on a tree branch with them. They can only wonder…

Back to the fight. Shi was pretty surprised by that explosion. She was not expecting that, especially the strength. She didn't see any explosive tags on the kunai he threw at her moments ago, perhaps she'll find out why. She's chasing the boy throughout the terrain, and she has to say, the boy is quick on his feet. He gives off the image of a person who doesn't go out much, but she's proven wrong. That twenty kilo sealing weights she put on him earlier will tire him out, all she has to do is to keep up the act in this game of cat and mouse.

"Kurama, where is she? I lost her." The blonde asks his furry friend who's residing inside of him.

" **She's twenty meters away from you west, she's watching you kid, keep your convo mental."**

That's perfect.

Gripping his sealing tag tightly, he unsheathes his blade with his other hand. Instead of leading his pursuer away, he does the unthinkable and begins charging towards his pursuer's location. Shi's once again surprised at how unpredictable the boy is, but she'll comply. If it's a straight fight he wants, then it's a straight fight he'll get. She also unsheathes her blade, charging.

As the two charges at each other diagonally, they draw their blades. Naruto lunges his at her, but her blade parries it. They engage in a deadlock in midair, but here's the difference. Two differences, actually.

One, Shi's blade is not tagged in an explosive tag that could destroy about ten square miles of the landscape in a single but devastating explosion. Naruto's does.

Secondly… she's not the one with the shit eating grin underneath her mask.

"Bye and sorry."

"Eh?"

The boy is suddenly replaced with a scarecrow made out of straws with a firm grip tied around his blade. She also notices the fact that his sword is glowing a sinister red, like, Kyuubi red.

Shi realizes. "Oh fu-"

"Explosion." From his spot beside the rest of his teammates, Naruto utters the word as if he's some classy noble who's sipping on champagne.

His three teammates are left to see the effect of his words and all they see is a mushroom cloud going off in the distant, throwing dust, trees and dirt into the air. The heat wave from the blast is felt all the way from here, but unlike the three spectators, Naruto doesn't bother shielding his mask even if the heat is radiating into it. Since they are underground, there's less air to insulate the heat, so the heat wave that is currently hitting them is intense. It's a good thing that they are waaaay back, unless they would've been cooked by the heat alone. It takes a few more seconds until they can no longer feel the surge of heat wave hitting them and a few more minutes until the dusts cleared.

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Man, I wish I have a witch's hat, an eye patch and a weird fetish for explosion when I say that…"

" **Not happening kid, unless your name's Megumin…"**

"Ew, what kind'a name is that? Retarded as fuck…"

* * *

 **OMG GAAAIIIS WE GOT LIKE, THREE REVIEWS!**

 **THREE REVIEWS!**

 **HOLY FUCKING SHITE ON A STICK, RUB A DUCK'S FUCK FUCK, YOU GUYS ARE FUCKING AWESOME!**

 **-yeaaah that was sarcasm. It's interesting to know that there are some people appreciating my humor and story altogether. This chapter isn't exactly the best, but hey, it's still only the second chapter. I hope that you enjoy this chapter and get the humor that I've put in here.**

 **I like that one part where the whole story goes serious, methinks that it'll be a good plot device later on. Oh wait, it is a plot device! Silly me!**

 **I know that I'm not the best at writing action scenes, and I know that I suck at thinking about them, but I'm squeezing everything that I got related to fighting and writing when I'm writing this, so please, don't be so hard on me. Or get hard at all, ew, you creepy fucks. Unless if you're a girl, in which case, it's okay to get hard.**

 **Anyway, that's about it for this chapter and the next one will resolve around Naruto and his new teammates! And be sure to check out for the extras written below!**

* * *

 **Omake**

 **-Character opinions and thoughts from Uzumaki Naruto-**

 **Kuu:** She's quiet, doesn't speak much. She scared me with the way she's asking stuff regarding my private information that I'm not willing to share. She also seems strict, but doesn't seem to be a bad person either. I want to get to know her and have proper conversation with her.

 **Shi:** She seems friendly, but too energetic. Out of everyone, she seems to be the easiest one to talk to. But she fights like hell though… not sure if I can survive anymore training from her, let's just hope she knows restrain. Otherwise, I'll be dead before I could participate in any missions…

 **Iyo:** She seems… strict? Unlike Kuu who doesn't talk much because she can't really find a topic, it seems that Iyo-san doesn't talk because there's really no need to talk. But she seems nice though, somewhat scary, but nice. I wonder if she's any good in chemistry…

 **Rei:** She's like Shi-san, seems friendly. I didn't talk to her much, but seeing as she's the one who approached me, I guess that she's easy to approach. If she's the team leader, then she has to be strong. I want to learn a lot of things from her.


	3. Chapter 3

"Wait, so you're telling me that out of everyone that managed to get into ROOT, only a handful of them will only be accepted?"

Kuu, setting aside the book that she's been teaching to the boy, nods with an empty feel. "Yes."

Kuu has been filling him with his current occupation. She's been teaching him about ROOT, the history of ROOT. Not all of them, because she's mainly basing her information from what's accessible in the records. There are a lot of confidential documents in ROOT's archives that only certain people could know about, so she's merely bringing out what's on the surface. But even so, for someone who's completely new to this, it's still a lot for Naruto to take in. Not only is he a fresh graduate from the academy, his method of getting into ROOT was rather… special. And unfair in some ways.

As someone who's been in ROOT for almost her entire life, she considers Uzumaki Naruto to be lucky yet unlucky at the same time. The boy is the last person she expects to join ROOT, but Danzo-sama seemed eager on recruiting the boy into the ranks, so she will not question it. On another note, she has to admit. For a boy who gives off the feeling of someone who's completely unwilling to do things unless he's not ordered to do so, he's good at doing them.

His time with her team may have been a while, like what, a week now, but he seems to have fit in with the team quite well. He gets along with the captain, even comfortable enough to have normal conversation. Shi enjoys with him being around, the two are like close friends. And even Iyo, thought to be the most serious and irreproachable out of them, turns out to be responsive with the boy. Uzumaki Naruto has fit in their squad so well it's as if he's been here a long time ago. She has yet to see him in serious situations, since all of the action she's seen him doing were mostly done through training simulations. She wonders, will he break from the pressure?

"Ne, Kuu-san, if you don't mind me asking, how did you get into ROOT?" Naruto's question breaks her inner thinking, returning her back to her senses. They are currently conducting his lesson in his quarters, so there will not be any disturbance.

"I, like everyone else, entered ROOT through the elimination method." Kuu responds in her monotonous and borderline emotionless voice.

"Oh." The boy's response is quite. He has just recently knows what the elimination method is. It's a method that involves pitting recruits against each other and let them fight each other until the other one's dead. Dark.

" **It's circumstances like those which makes these people the soldier they are now. Do not judge them for that kid, think of it as a necessary sacrifice."**

Kurama's words ring his mind like a bell chime in a wedding ceremony. He seriously does not know what to feel about that. His mind tells him that the method is probably most effective as it roots out, pun not intended, the weak from the strong. By pitting recruits against each other, the organization could determine which soldier is the most effective, strongest, smartest and enduring. However, his heart is telling him the opposite thing; that this method is cruel, inhuman and downright malpractice.

"…necessary sacrifice, huh?"

Kuu does not know why, but she sees something in his eyes that she recognizes. "Hm?"

"N-Nothing!" the boy scratches his neck, loosening the tight black spandex material. "Anyway, it's just about time for lunch, are we meeting with the team in the usual spot?"

"Yes." Kuu nods in her brief but acknowledging manner. "I reckon that the rest are already there as we are speaking now."

Naruto stands up from his bed side, stretching his hip. "Then what are we waiting for, let's meet up with them, I'm getting hungry too."

"Ah, Uzumaki Naruto-kun, since today is Friday, we won't be having ramen."

"…"

"…It's curry today."

"Oh, it's not so bad after all."

* * *

Later, he's already waiting in line for his curry to be served.

"Uh… I haven't seen you around before, are you new here?"

Placing his tray in front of the station where you usually get your food from, Naruto swallows air as the chef engages in a conversation with him. A man with the stature of a bear and with the facial hair to rival a bear suddenly engages in a conversation with him, how could he not be slightly terrified? He's dressed in a white but grey-ish cook uniform, complete with a black apron. His body is very muscled, he could see a button or two threatening to burst open from the fact that the shirt is actually too tight for him. This person should be in the front lines fighting bad guys while saying corny one liners, not working as a mess hall cook!

The fact that he's able to determine him being a new member while he's still wearing his mask makes him all the more scary. "Um… yeah, I am."

"Umu." He nods, emphasizing how thick his neck is. "Then consider this my way of welcoming you to the family." He puts an extra serving of meat cutlets on his curry. "Eat up, and make the organization proud."

Not sure of what to say, Naruto nods slowly before walking briskly to his team's table. He's amazed at how bustling this place is. Really, he thought that secret organization people eat food in their room secretly or something… but he guessed not. Everyone is eating with their subordinates, making quiet conversations that would not exceed the point of being noisy. It's only been a week, but man… everything has been going smoothly that it's scary.

" **See? What did I tell you, it'll turn out fine after all."**

' _Yeah… I guess so.'_

" **You got grouped with four attractive vixens too."**

' _Dammit Kurama.'_

After a few seconds of walking, he rejoins his team on their table. Everyone has their masks off and seeing this prompts him to take his mask off too. They're going to eat after all, who eats without opening their masks?

A certain one eyed sensei sneezed.

He sets down the tray on the table, occupying the empty space next to Shi. The woman immediately envelopes the boy in a friendly one armed hug, causing him to yelp in surprise. "What took you so long rookie? There's only one menu today don't tell me you're picky about yer' food?"

She's not exactly wrong, but unfortunately that's not the case. "L-Leggo'! S-Shi-san I can't breathe!" the girl's snake grip on him proved too much for him to handle. Seriously, this woman is so strong!

Shi laughs at her male teammate's attempt of squirming out from her grip, but feeling sorry for him, she lets go in the end. "Aw don't be like that, we're all pals here so it's fine to have a little bit of skin ship." She says with a cheery smile.

While he's returning the amount of air he lost earlier, he notices something. Shi-san has tanned skin and wide hazel eyes, making her look like a squirrel, a deadly squirrel. Her hair is the shortest one in the group, make sense since she engages in close quarters so they'll only be a bother for her. It's a light shade of brown, only visible under the reflection of light. She's taller than him, all of them is, and he can tell that she's more fit and chiseled than the rest.

"There's nothing wrong with skin ship, indeed." The captain, Rei, agrees with an approving nod. A small smirk is plastered on her face, showing her amusement. "I think that it is a necessity."

Unlike Shi who has the shortest hair, the captain has the longest hair in the group. Her hair is a mix between purple and blue, making him wonder if that's natural or not, then again, there's this pink haired girl in his class. She has it tied into a long ponytail, kept together by… chopsticks…? Yes, they are chopsticks. Hey, he's not complaining, she really looks good with them.

" **Now that's what I'm talking about kid, you're learning to appreciate those around you."**

The blonde rolls his eyes at his tenant's comment.

"Skin ship…? Knowing you two, you'll probably make the boy faint." The medic of the group comments snidely in her nonchalant but sassy demeanor. Iyo has a long brown hair that reaches to her mid-back, her bangs obscures one of her eyes which is a beautiful shade of emerald green, unlike the captain and whose eyes are mischievous shade of charcoal and grey. Iyo lock eyes… or just eye in her case with the newest member of the group. "A word of advice, Naruto-san, never drink with these two."

"H-Hai…" Naruto mutters with uncertainty. The boy's eyes shifts to his last teammate, Kuu. She also has her mask set aside, as she's already digging into her plate of katsu curry. Her face is… just as he expects it to be. Soft, a little bit rounded and really stoic fitting her attitude. Her eyes are the same color of the sky, light blue. And it doesn't look like she smiles often.

" **Kind of like that white haired chick he watched in that one anime with the whiny ass boy-bitch who just won't get into the robot."**

' _Ssh! We'll get sued for that!'_

"Saa, Uzumaki-kun," the captain starts conversing again after she has downed several spoonful of curry. "Let us conduct an assessment of your psyche whilst eating, shall we?"

"Eh?" Naruto stops halfway from dipping his spoon into the curry rice. "Right now?"

"Yes."

"Alright then, captain." There's no refusing a captain. He holds back from digging into his curry, even if he has yet to take a single bite out of it.

"Um." The captain nods. "Let's start with some basic evaluation. How has the first week of being ROOT fare for you?"

Oh so it's this kind of thing. "It's been… okay, I guess." The boy starts awkwardly. "But I know that things will get hard for me."

The captain nods again, this time with approval over his insight. "True. You are a special case Uzumaki-kun, but that doesn't mean that you get to relax. You will be put through all the things that a ROOT will face and that include pressure. But let us not worry about that now." She waves it off before resuming. "Now, what do you think of us as a team?"

"You mean us? Including me?"

"Yes."

"Well… I'm still unsure." The blonde says. "I've only been here for a week and I haven't seen any real situation, not enough to gauge our compatibility as a team. But from what the training that all of you have given me… I can say that we fill all the holes needed in order to be an all-rounder team."

"Oh?" the captain blinks. "How so?" she hides a smirk inwardly.

"Captain is good in leading; I can see that much by the way you assign us in doing what we have to do. You know how to enunciate your orders, good enough for a complete newbie like me to understand." He lowers his head, delving into a deep thought. "Shi-san is good at giving me fighting instructions, which I find really helpful because I'm not exactly a fighter. From what I was able to conclude from my training with her, she will overwhelm the enemy with her fighting style alone. I can't speak for everyone but if I have to fight Shi-san for real… I'd rather run because I'm not sure if I can keep up with her, but that's just my personal weakness. Iyo-san has been giving me advice on how to keep me fit for training, even if I… eh… disagree with her regarding my completely normal liking on eating ramen."

The doctor of the group receives a small glare from the blonde, but she merely snorts.

"And Kuu-san…" now, he's not really sure of what to say. Kuu has been filling him in with the necessary knowledge about ROOT's infrastructure and their objective. Her efforts were useful, don't mistake him, but he has no words to say them. "Kuu-san is really helpful when it comes to teaching, I like how she explains past events without making me fall asleep." He smiles weirdly, not sure if that came out right.

"Eh… so is that your opinion about us, Uzumaki-kun?" the captain asks, setting her spoon down.

"Uh… that's what I think about us as a team."

"Hm…" Shi hums loud enough to garner the attention of her teammates. "So the captain's a good squad leader cuz she knows how what to do, I'm good at fighting which makes me very valuable when it comes to combat scenarios, Iyo's a great doctor because she looks after us and Kuu here is knowledgeable and that makes her useful when it comes to thinking… then, Naruto-kun, what do you think you're good at?"

"Eh?"

"We have all heard about your opinions of us, now what's your own opinion about yourself?"

"No, no, no. shouldn't it be the other way around? With you guys telling me what you think of me?"

"Oho, that makes sense." The captain nods. "Then I will start. And I won't sugarcoat things." She takes in a deep breath. "Basically, Uzumaki-kun, the moment my eyes landed upon your limp," a stab. "short," another stab. "seemingly useless," and another. "and disappointingly child-like stature; I immediately thought that you are going to be a deadweight for the group. But after witnessing your training with Shi, I had a change of heart." The captain is all smiles. "Indeed, Shi is an excellent fighter, and I can tell you that she was not cutting you some slacks when she fought you."

The mentioned ROOT nods in confirmation.

"The way you fought seems unorthodox, completely different than what is taught here. In ROOT, we fight to eliminate, not confuse our opponents." She says. "Every attack we make must be a successful one, otherwise, you're dead. That is what we are taught to remember. But in your case, you did not strike until you have devised a plan for your attack. You waited, analyzing your opponent even under pressure and not showing any weaknesses. When you figured out a plan, no matter how unorthodox and strange it is, you stick to it and make it work. And indeed, it worked." She sends Shi a teasing wink.

Said woman sticks her tongue out.

"Given that you have the time to prepare it all before the fight, but you still did something quite amazing in my books and I can praise you for that."

Naruto is listening intently. He does not even blink. A strange feeling is rising up from his stomach and to his chest, it's causing him to feel this comfortable yet aching sensation. What is it?

" **That is happiness kid. She's praising you and you're happy about it, simple as that."**

Naruto is blind and dead to his surroundings, completely succumbed to this strange feeling in him. _'Praise… huh? It feels… nice.'_

" **Sure kid."**

Resurfacing back to consciousness, Naruto doesn't want his team to figure out that he's conversing with the Kyuubi. Speaking of which, do they even know about the Kyuubi?

"Naruto-san, after you have finished your lunch, please proceed to Danzo-sama's office." Iyo's voice directs all of his attention to her. "It seems that you are going to get your very first mission as a member of ROOT."

A different feeling rises inside Naruto, but unlike before, this one is leaning more towards curiosity. "A mission? For us?"

"Yes." Iyo nods. "The rest of us will return first to report in to our section officer, please prepare yourself and once you're ready, meet us in Danzo-sama's office."

"O-Okay…" the blonde sees his team disappears in their respective means of teleportation. Then he looks down at his food, still uneaten. "Better finish this quickly!"

" **Wait Naruto that's beef!"**

Too late, he ate a bite already.

And there is lots of regretting afterwards.

* * *

"Danzo, how goes our newest member?"

It's normal for the two old men known as the Hokage and his Spymaster to chat amongst themselves on the roof of the Hokage tower. Hiruzen finds it calming to feel the wind, sunlight and seeing the people of his village as they engage in their daily life activities. The open space makes it easier for his ANBU to spot him too.

"He's doing surprisingly well, Sarutobi." Danzo says in his grumpy and indifferent voice. "The boy shows sign of becoming an excellent ninja and he has exceeded my expectations."

Hiruzen cannot help but be surprised. It's rare for someone or something to exceed Danzo's expectation. The last person who did that was Uchiha Itachi himself. Hiruzen says nothing at first, taking in his former teammate's words. He tips his hat, shadowing his face even more. "I see. How goes his training?"

"The boy has improvements to be made." Danzo immediately says, almost as if he's actually excited to reveal the information to Hiruzen. "But he'll be able to fill those holes at the pace he's working. Currently, I have him grouped with Squad 69."

Hiruzen almost trips even if he's standing still. He recovers and slowly turns his head to the direction of his old teammate. "Say that again, Danzo?"

"I have him grouped with Squad 69." Danzo parrots his own statement. He observes the change of emotion on Hiruzen's face. It's a mixture between shock, alarm and displeasure. He predicts that Hiruzen will have something to say against him so he stops the Kage before he could speak. "Do not worry, Sarutobi. The boy is fitting well with his team, even more so when he has them acting as instructors that will shape him in ROOT."

"But Squad 69…?" Hiruzen has a troubled expression on his face. "You said to me that they are DEVGRU, Danzo. Why would you put a fresh out of the academy rookie into a DEVGRU squad?"

"Why did you put a fresh out of the academy rookie into ROOT?"

Hiruzen looks away, sweating a little.

Danzo sighs. "The point is, Hiruzen, I'm building a weapon right now; I also have plans for him, not just you." he can feel the glare that Hiruzen is sending him. "I at least have that much right since this is my organization you're putting him into and don't forget that you basically entrusted the boy to me."

Danzo feels no reaction from his Hokage, only the piercing glare that could freeze hell's fiery pit itself. "Don't give me that look. If it's about your mistake with Itachi, remember that you were the one who surrendered him to me."

The semi-crippled veteran begins walking with his cane, away from the scene.

When Danzo is away from the picture, Hiruzen can only release a long sigh of disappointment and irritation. "It's a good thing you're dead, Minato, Kushina… otherwise, you will probably murder me for entrusting your son to Danzo…" he shakes his head. "I have not made a mistake… yet."

* * *

Inside Danzo's office, five ROOT are kneeling before him. The members of Squad 69, including their newest member, are ready to receive whatever orders that Danzo have in store for them. The five of them are silent, even Naruto can tell that this is no time to be kidding around. The lack of personal guards in the room tells that whatever is about to be said will be private and must not be disclosed with others, Danzo has always kept it that way. Only the people that you will talk to are allowed in the room with you. There is no need for more.

"Squad 69, I have a mission for you…" he pauses. "Should you choose to accept it."

"I accept." Rei.

"I accept." Shi.

"I accept." Iyo.

"I accept." Kuu.

Naruto hesitates for a moment, but he steels his foundation. "I accept."

"Your mission will be classified with a level 3 clearance, accessible to a few of the captains. I want Squad 69 to rendezvous with Squad 53 from ROOT Combat Platoon 2 on the following coordinates" five files are thrown to the ROOTs' feet at the same time. "and assist them with their mission. Mission details are in the files and you will have to ask Squad 53 captain Umbra for further instructions. Mission authority is surrendered to squad captain Umbra and will remain so until Squad 53 has completed their objective, until then, Squad 53 will assist you in your mission and Squad 69 captain Rei will have full command of the operations."

No one says anything, they just listen.

"Failure is not an option and the only form of success that we will receive is the best." Though Naruto is not looking at him directly, he could feel Danzo's eyes on him. "ROOT operator Uzumaki Naruto, you are hereby assigned the codename Kilo." Danzo says with a tone that holds a final edge, making no rooms for comments.

The blonde says nothing, nor does he show any reaction to it at all.

"Do Konoha proud."

With that, they all leave at the same time.

* * *

ROOT was not built in a day. It took years of thinking, planning, considering and strategizing. ROOT was originally meant to be a branch of the ANBU, a special ops division that answers only to the Hokage and none other. ANBU is by no means a solid organization and, during the past, it lacked specialized fields of operation. ANBU was already a special ops division, making them the most elite amongst the elite, but during the first couple of years Sarutobi Hiruzen served in office, he required more special fields in the organization. By then, subdivisions were made.

One is the STEM, the ANBU's personal intelligence department. They are responsible for knowing, predicting and preventing attempted attacks on Konoha. Their job may seem to clash with the existing T&I division open to most ninja, but STEM deals with ANBU matters only and will usually work if there's a direct threat to ANBU as an organization, despite their foremost important job of protecting Konoha.

Another is LEAF. LEAF is basically the RnD division of ANBU. It supplies the organization with the weapons, tools and equipment. They are also in charge of developing new countermeasures against enemy against enemy invasion. Though this department is not as widely recognized even in ANBU itself, it still plays an important role.

The final one is ROOT itself. ROOT is the odd one out of the two ANBU subdivisions. Unlike the previous two, they do not answer to the Hokage. They only answer to Shimura Danzo, their leader and founder. Originally, ROOT was meant to only be a subdivision for members who required specialized training. But that all changed due to past events that are still undisclosed even until now.

ROOT serves Danzo, but it still prioritizes the wellbeing of Konoha greatly. The difference is the head they follow. ANBU have the Hokage, while ROOT has Danzo. This is why ROOT isn't really recognized as a part of ANBU. Aside from the completely different directives, clashing methods of execution and unique approach to opportunities; the two leaders – Hiruzen and Danzo – are complete opposite. Sure, there are times when they agree with something, but think of the time when they will have to make crucial decisions for sake of Konoha. Danzo will not hesitate to use the most violent method if it is the quickest and most effective one when compared to the rest or if there's even other methods to begin with. But Hiruzen believes in peaceful intervention, only do what's necessary and not beyond it.

Secondly, both ROOT and the ANBU don't exactly see eye to eye. A subdivision of ANBU it may be, ROOT considers ANBU operatives to be mild and blind. They have spent too much time on the tree's surface that they have forgotten about the foundation that kept them from falling. There were few skirmishes in the past that both Hiruzen and Danzo are fully aware of regarding ROOT and ANBU. It doesn't help when ROOT is secretive, allowing more wild speculations to be made by those from ANBU, though this depends on how professional one is.

In the middle of their walk to the tunnels, Naruto lags a few steps behind his team, but he does not stop walking. He read what's inside the file. And it's sickening. Only a sick fuck would think of doing something like that. A sick fuck with no concept of moral.

"I know you're angry, Uzumaki-kun." The squad leader's voice remains relaxed and easy going, despite knowing his violent shaking. "What you just read in that file is what we ROOT have to do. We are the dagger that strikes from the dark,"

His blood boils at how easy they are taking all of this in.

"The necessary forces of darkness that will protect the light." Shi speaks up with her cheerful tone.

Regret fills his heart, fear and panic invades his mind.

"The cruelest form of mercy that no one can show." Iyo speaks in her professional tone.

He lost himself for a moment, yet did not do anything about it. He can only walk with his anger suppressed.

"And the hammer of justice that demolishes for the greater good." Kuu finishes, stoically.

His eyes glint a dangerous gleam, mostly in self-regret.

Despite all of this, Naruto does not say anything. He clenches his fists so hard that they've turned white. Beneath his mask, he's gritting hard to the point where they're actually chipping away. His body is shaking after reading what's written in that file alone. For once in his life, never has he ever felt so sick, angry and repulsed.

Back in his office, Danzo exhales a long breath. His one eye stares at the white light bulb that is the only source of light in the room.

"You are a ROOT now, Uzumaki Naruto… not a child, not the son of Konoha's most dangerous shinobi and definitely not the Kyuubi's Jinchuriki… you are a nobody in ROOT, not even yourself." He lifts himself up from his chair with the help of his cane.

"Welcome to ROOT."

* * *

 **I know that this chapter is short, but I really can't find time to write even if I'm still on summer vacation. I got part-time jobs and a life to deal with, so I apologize for the short chapter.**

 **Some of you may be concerned about this story's update routine and you're right to do so, because I have no plans at all for putting this into my schedule, at least not now.**

 **I'll keep this note short and I'll see you again.**


	4. Chapter 4

**If it feels like I'm butchering canon with the things that I've written here, I just want to say sorry. First of all, the lore behind Naruto is not that solid. The story telling itself is average, but the lore that the story is built in is just too damn vague. For example, during the Second Shinobi World War, who led Iwagakure? Was it the Second Tsuchikage? Or was Onoki already a Kage during that time? See, there are no dates detailing the settings of these specific events yet I can't blame the creators, because doing so will make things harder for canon.**

 **As such, for this story, I will build the lore myself. If it seems like I'm missing out important facts and in-lore history because of my pure ignorance and poor knowledge over the topic, I apologize. Then again, this is fiction, so that doesn't really matter much. I want to create a story that's entertaining and fun to read, with the lore to build up the atmosphere of this whole damn journey. I hope that you guys will understand why I'm doing this.**

 **If you spot mistakes, official canon lore mistakes that I make, please tell me; I will try my best to make them work out.**

* * *

The Land of Fire is famous for its tropical and sunny climate as well as the thick and luscious leafy forests that make up most of its geography. The Land of Fire is not as mountainous as the Land of Earth nor is it as foggy and humid as the Land of Water. It has the perfect combination of both tropical rainforests and flowing rivers and direct sea access on the eastern area of the country. The Capital of Fire Country is located at the heart of the land, a few days' worth of travelling from Konoha.

Konoha itself is considered to be as good as the Capital, if not slightly more efficient. Ninja villages all over the world have separate political and militaristic doctrine, but when it comes to their status as a Ninja village as a whole, there's several similarities. The big five, Konoha, Iwa, Kiri, Kumo and Suna; implement shinobi needs before their civilian. The Kage of each respective village has the right to decide how many shinobis he or she wants in the village as a Kage holds the highest form of authority when it comes to his village.

The only one who rivals a Kage's authorities are the Daimyo themselves. A Daimyo is the political leader of the country, he is responsible for all the political decisions involving his country, from alliances to treaties and even the budgeting. A Daimyo is a governor, he is a monarch of his country as his command is considered to be the highest – even higher than a Kage – no matter who you are. Whether you're a Shinobi, a Royal Guard or even the common folk, your Daimyo is your King.

Though this isn't exactly the case. There are several other cases when a Kage overrules a Daimyo. During the Second Shinobi War, the Land of Earth's Daimyo gave full authority to the Tsuchikage regarding the protection of the entirety of Earth Country. This delegation gives the reigning Tsuchikage at that time, the Second Tsuchikage, a position over every military branch in Earth Country, not limited to Shinobi only. He became the Commander in Chief over every armed force that Earth Country have. Shinobis, Royal Guards, Earth Country's armadas… everything.

Ultimately, this gives the Earth Daimyo no position at all in the military, but this was done by the Daimyo's own consent and approval.

Konoha is much different. While being one of the biggest and considered to be the strongest Ninja village when compared the rest of the Big Five, Konoha's Fire Capital is not as heavily militarized. It only has a sizeable amount of troops, most of them are city guards and few of them are the Daimyo's own personal guards. But that is not a problem. Unlike the rest of the Hidden Villages, the Fire Capital actually prefers shinobi rather than normal foot soldiers. Quality over quantity. This is shown by the existence of the Twelve Fire Guardians, the Daimyo's personal shinobi guards.

As for naval operations, Fire Country's Combined Fleet is under the command of the Daimyo himself since Konoha has no need for a fleet, or a use for one in the first place since there's no direct sea access from Konoha. The nearest port city from Konoha is the Land of Waves and even so, there's still no need for a fleet since ninjas almost never battle at sea, unless if it's a full blown invasion from Kiri or something.

This complicated system, no matter how flawed, strict or ever-changing it is, is what has been keeping the Shinobi World running.

But that's not an excuse to murder an entire town just because they have been supplying the enemy.

"…" Naruto is strangely quiet. He is usually quiet, but not from overthinking. Usually, he's quiet because he's too damn lazy to think of anything aside from sleeping, practicing calligraphy, creating new seal matrixes or eating ramen. Now, he's quiet because his brain is still trying to accept the order that he has been instructed to do.

Currently, his team and he are en route to the rendezvous point with Squad 53 at sector 6-A-2. From all the studying he's done with Kuu about coordinates, that's near the Konoha-Taki border. They should not have any trouble reaching the rendezvous since the cover of night protects them and the route they're taking is secretive and since this is ROOT, secrecy is guaranteed.

"Heads up, we're here." Rei's voice breaks out the silence that has been accompanying the group and Naruto's own personal musings. The five of them jumps off the tree tops, landing on the forest's floor. Naruto lands at the most rear part of their formation – diamond formation – and his black cloak shifts from the motion of landing.

Nothing seems to happen, since the only thing they can feel is the soft wind that comes from the south. Suddenly, a voice breaks their silence.

"An honest lie…"

Squad captain Rei finishes, "…is a false truth."

Four cloaked figures jump down to join them, dressed with the same cloak and blank masks. One of the four masked group – no doubt the Squad captain for Squad 53 – steps forward. "Sister, we have been waiting." A man's voice, muffled by the mask he's wearing, bleeds through the mask.

"Report, brother Umbra." Rei says.

"Our mission is not top priority, but Danzo-sama has personally ordered us to spy suspicious movements along this sector." Umbra reports in a lackluster, emotionless tone.

"Do you have any results in your findings?"

"We saw four team of Taki shinobi patrolling the border. They do not seem to be from a formal border patrol team." Squad 53's leader unwraps a map he has kept inside his cloak, letting Rei and the rest of Squad 69 see it. There are circles, lines and writings written all over the map with red marker, all of them seemingly important. "We scouted them further and we found them to be planting explosives along here," he traces his finger along the border up to a certain point. "and landmines around this perimeter." He points out to the circled area.

"These are all the ANBU's patrol routes." Rei mutters suspiciously. "This is all specifics we're looking at, how were they able to figure this out?"

"Unknown." Umbra shakes his head. "Our investigation has not enlightened us with that information yet." Umbra rewraps the map, pocketing it inside the tactical pouch on the vest he's wearing underneath the cloak. "ROOT DEVGRU unit Squad 69 is to assist ROOT Combat Platoon 2's Squad 53 in this mission."

Everyone from Squad 69 nod. "We'll follow your lead, captain." Rei says as she surrenders all authority to the man.

"We will assist Squad 69 with their mission, but for now, our mission is to defuse all traps planted by the suspicious Taki nins." The captain's subordinate steps forward. "These are Sol and Helios," he gestures to the two male ROOT standing beside him. "I want you" he points to Iyo. "and you" then at Shi. "to assist them with scouting the patrol, keep in touch via comms."

The four ROOT disappears, doing as they're ordered to do.

"The rest of you," Umbra gestures to the remaining three members of Squad 69 and the last member of his own squad, "follow me, we are going to defuse whatever traps we could." Everyone nods grimly.

Under Umbra's lead, his team is heading towards the area where the mines are planted at first. This is critical because they cannot reach the area where the rest of the explosives are planted.

"Captain," Rei speaks. "why do you think Taki ninjas are doing this?"

"I do not know, Rei." The temporary leader shakes his head. "If they are going to go and ambush ANBU patrol routes, then they would have done way more than just planting explosives. Aside from the wire traps they rigged to presumably slow down advances, they did nothing more than that. Secondly, the traps are placed too neatly for them to called traps in the first place."

Uncharacteristically, and surprising for Naruto, Kuu speaks. "…what do you make of the traps?"

"The mines are your standard pressure mines, judging by holes they've dug shallowly on the ground." Umbra answers. "We weren't able to identify their specific details, but expect them to be highly lethal."

Naruto wonders, then he decides to voice his thoughts. "How many of them do you think are there?" he asks, then realizes what he's doing wrong. "Captain?"

"Unsure, but they've covered an 8 mile radius of the perimeter I've shown before."

"Do we have any means of defusing them?"

"We do, but since we are unsure of the material, sensing them with chakra sonars might be a risk."

Naruto gulps. Shinobi are tacky people who somehow manage to fit chakra into everything they create. There's chakra sensitive paper, chakra resistant metal and even chakra absorbing weights. Not that this is a bad thing, but in this scenario, it's bad. So bad. Chakra sonar is a sensory ability that allows the user to create, as the name suggests, sonars by distributing a concentrated amount of chakra from their feet and letting it flow to the ground. Since most shinobi built mines are built with chakra sensitive materials, using chakra sonar will cause them to accidentally explode, this jeopardizing this whole mission. It's a bitch, basically.

" **Why are you so nervous, kid? This is basically child's play for you, someone who's been rigging traps ever since he mastered sealing."**

' _But the situation's different, you ninny.'_ Naruto grumbles to his tenant. _'This isn't something I come up with, so I can't help but feel uneasy okay?'_

" **Bah, that's the whole point of putting you here. They're testing whether or not you'll crack underneath the pressure and if you managed to do something that'll impress them, they'll lay off your back for a while."**

He finds truth in the Kyuubi's words. _'…shit, well, we'll just have to see it until we get there.'_

The team then halts when the leader stops.

"Here we are and watch your steps." All of them land on the ground, but not landing anywhere near Umbra. The clearing before them is as suspicious as they thought it would be. There are no dig marks, or any sign of land tampering at all. The trees around here are not thick enough to provide any solid cover, so they should be in the clear. "They planted the mines around this area and I don't want anyone accidentally stepping on one to screw this whole mission up."

Everyone does not react.

"Spread out, but stick to the trees and look out for something that sticks out and report to me."

Naruto jumps on a tree branch, and he begins thinking.

Before him is a clearing, a perfect ambush spot and also a perfect spot to lay out some traps. The captain, Umbra, is confident that the enemy had planted mines all over the clearing. That's logical, since there's a perfectly good clearing before them and the ground's just the right texture to plant mines on. Based on what he read about ninja weaponry, shinobi landmines are so chakra sensitive that even activating a jutsu that requires a small flare of chakra like a transformation will set them off, even if they're two feet underground. This is a bitch, which means he's restricted to moving and jumping around with his legs. He cannot use chakra too.

There are two types of mines that shinobi use. One is the pressure mines, these are bulky, round shaped disks filled with gun powder, a fuse and the tendency to prematurely blow up when not rigged properly. If he's to take the consideration that the mines were properly rigged, then he shouldn't worry about them blowing up suddenly. There's a flaw in that design, but flaw won't help him here. Their flaw is their high chakra sensitivity, one that he's fully aware of. It's actually beneficial for the planters because enemies like them who're aware that there're mines nearby won't be able to use chakra to detect them because they'll blow up.

The second one are pin mines. The design may look the same, but they're flatter and explodes when their pin is released. Usually, these type of mines are rigged with wires to create an exploding trip wire trap but these are not always the case. The pin that prevents the mines from exploding is intentionally designed to be poor in quality, meaning that they're unstable and may just explode if you're holding them the wrong way. They were a pain in the ass during the Third Shinobi War, such a pain that the Big Five reduced their production drastically. But these are useful when rigged properly. Instead of using the trip wire method, one can activate them from a distance by simply unlocking the pins by a simple use of chakra.

Lethal, but risky. Then again, what's lethal and not risky?

"Kilo, are you okay?"

Snapped out from his musings, Naruto almost forgets that he's been assigned a codename. "I'm fine, captain." He responds to Rei's call. "I'm just figuring this whole thing out."

"I see. Then care to share your thoughts?"

Well, hope she wouldn't mind him babbling.

"Let's speak as we move." Rei suggests.

The two begins to patrol along the perimeter, looking for anything that might just shed a light into this mine problem.

"What's on your mind?" Naruto, Kilo, shakes his head with uncertainty, one that Rei is able to quickly find out.

"Aside from the obvious question of why in the hell would Taki ninjas plant mine along our borders, I'm just figuring out what to do when we figure out what type of mine they're using." Naruto explains.

"Wasn't Umbra clear enough before? He told us that they were pressure mines."

"Not to disrespect or saying that he's wrong, but I don't know…" the blonde shakes his head. "It's riskier to use pressure mines rather than the infamous pin mines."

"Pin mines… the one that has a high reputation of being so unstable when handled because of its intentional poor design?"

It seems that the captain knows her stuffs, good for her. "Yeah. Contrary to what you may believe, but pressure mines are a lot more unstable than pin mines. The design of pressure mines made sure that there's a low chance of the thing suddenly exploding while the user's rigging it, but of course, that's a fifty-fifty thing since the chances of it blowing up if not handled properly is just as high as it not exploding when handled. We know that they – pressure mines – are made out of chakra sensitive alloy that pretty much makes the thing famous for what it's supposed to do. But why do you think they named it 'pressure mines' instead of 'chakra sensitive mines'?"

"Because that second one's too long for them?"

"That…" a look of realization creeps up his face. "actually make sense, but, it's not pressure that's actually doing the job. It's chakra all along." Naruto concludes.

"But what does that have to do with this?" Rei narrows her eyes underneath her mask.

"I'm getting to that." Naruto speaks quickly. "Basically, the word 'pressure' here does not mean the pressure that our feet produce when we step right on top of them. It's actually referring to the amount of chakra that's taken in by the capacitors. Whether it's intentionally or not, those capacitors are filled halfway with chakra and all it takes is a little bit more of chakra from our environment, a sonar wave disrupting their capacitors or a careless mistake from one stupid ninja who did a jutsu for it to do its job of causing a literal explosive mess in the form of flying steel shrapnel capable of fucking everything up within a 55 yard radius."

"…"

"Captain, are you following me?"

"Ah, yes, I was just thinking on how well versed you are in these." Rei says with a hint of amazement. "Do you read often?"

"Well, kind of, I've also tinkered with a few duds in the past…"

"Then can you disarm them?"

"What?" Naruto's mask nearly falls from his face.

"You can." Rei doesn't even let him answer. She denies the boy's attempt of speaking when her communications device activates. "Captain?"

" _Regroup on my position, I've found one of them barely sticking out from the ground. Looks like I was right, these are pressure mines. I'll flare my chakra so get to my position asap."_

"NO CAPTAIN WAI-"

Too late.

Everything explodes into white, and what follows next is an ear piercing noise of mines going off.

* * *

" _ **What is it that drives you, Uzumaki Naruto?"**_

 _I remember hearing Kurama say that the first time we met face to face. At that time, I was so scared shitless of the humongous demonic fox that easily towered over me inside that locked cage of his. At that time, I just realized of my status as a Jinchuriki. At that time, I was still my old self. I remember not answering him for several long minutes, but he waited patiently, almost as if he was too interested in hearing my answer._

" _Drive? How can I do that when I don't plan on going anywhere?"_

 _He's hearing this from the eight year old who just made a complex sealing matrix that not even the most skilled seal master has ever done. Of course, he looked at me as if I was a being out of this world. In his head, Kurama must've thought things like 'is this kid for real?' or something along those lines. Then he laughed. He laughed. The fox laughed, practically rolling inside the tiny space that's his prison, clutching his stomach like he's heard the world's most hilarious joke._

" _ **You're sick kid, let me see those eyes of yours. Ah, so empty… so much potential."**_

 _I was just confused. Why was a demonic being, the Kyuubi itself, being friendly with me?_

" _ **Alright kid, starting from today, you're my friend. We talk to each other, we shout at each other and we roast each other dark."**_

 _The way he said it, it never really did give me a chance to refute his claim. We're still talking about a powerful primordial being which could easily banish my existence here._

 _So, being the puny human I am, I pissed my pants._

* * *

He wakes up to a familiar sight. Kurama's prison has a very large gate that's seemingly made out from iron, but even so the one thing that's keeping the gate closed is actually the large paper seal sticking to it. Kurama told him once that his father, the Fourth Hokage, was the one who sealed him into him.

His mother, Kushina, was Kurama's previous host. Because she was going through labor, the seal weakened drastically and that was what caused the Kurama to escape the seal. The moment the seal broke, Kurama told him that he felt an incredible rush of negative emotion from the world and since he is a being completely made out of chakra, he was easily affected by the surrounding's negative energy.

That was the reason why he went berserk…

Or so he says.

Naruto knows that it's not the real reason. There has got to be something major that Kurama's hiding. That or the damned fox was just making things up for him. Either way, Naruto does not mind. If Kurama wants to keep secrets from him, then let him.

"… **looks like things didn't go so well after all."**

From inside the dark cage, Naruto can see Kurama's pearly whites. The fox's red eyes are mocking him, but a playful one. The blonde shakes his head, before giving the fox an accusing glare.

"It's your damn fault for always saying 'it might just go well after all' and things like that… you jinxed it." The reaction that he gets from that is a set of shallow laughter from the fox.

" **Fufufu… perhaps I did. But that's not our utmost concern, isn't it kid?"** Naruto suddenly becomes tense. **"You're dying. Again. And this time, it was because the fault of some unimportant side character who thought that he knew what to do."**

"Oi!" Naruto reprimands. "Even side characters have feelings."

A shrug from the fox. **"Even so, you're basically dead at this point. Your skin is crisp, your eyes melted from the heat and your meat's just how I like my steak; rare."** The large grin stretches wider.

Naruto sends him a disapproving glare. "You never had steak Kurama, don't lie to me… anyway, if I'm in a state of such fucked up-ery, I suppose that you're going to do something about it?"

" **Me? Oh no, I actually think that letting you die like this is hilarious."** But the boy is not buying him, so he sighed. **"Fine, fine, just give me a sec."**

Red pools of chakra emerges from the gaps beneath the gates. They are like waves rushing for Naruto and when they reach him, they envelop him. They shroud him in red, letting the boy feel a sensation of heat. After a while, the redness dissipates and he is normal once again.

" **Get out from here kid, I'm eager to see how you will un-fuck this whole thing up."**

All Naruto does is cast one nasty glare at the fox. "Ass." He disappears.

" **Yeah, yes I am…"**

* * *

"K…o!"

His head feels dizzy.

"Ki…lo!"

Pain. Hot, searing pain. That's all he's feeling all over his body. His ears are still ringing, he's not sure whether his body is still intact or if they're charcoal. He manages to open a set of blurry eyes, blinking increases his chance of returning back to unconsciousness. He can't scream despite the pain, when the explosions went off he must have been blown back far and hard enough to hit something, either that or something went and hit him.

He feels his body being lifted into a sitting position by a pair of feminine hands. He then manages to straighten his vision, getting a clear view of the fiery landscape before him.

"C… Captain…?" he utters slowly, the dizziness prevents him from speaking normally. "What happened?"

"A mistake happened." Rei replies urgently. "The explosion set all of the mines simultaneously and everything beyond there is literal hell." As she speaks, the forest area in front of them is still burning. They have a clear view of the fire and the smoke that rises to the air.

"I'm sorry… I…" he is silenced.

"It's not your fault." Rei says. "Umbra was at fault and he paid the price. But unfortunately, we have to pay the price for his mistake." The heat they are feeling is quite something, the wind must be carrying it to them.

"What do we do now?" with the help of his captain, he gets back up on his feet, finding it easier to overlook the fire that is spreading. "And where's Kuu-san?"

"We regroup." Rei says quietly. "I sent Kuu back to headquarters, Danzo-sama needs to know that both missions are a fail. And while you were unconscious, I contacted Shi and Iyo, they should be he-"

A sudden buzz on both Naruto's and Rei's earpiece disrupts their conversation.

"Captain requesting back up! We're overwhelmed by Taki nins, probably scouts sent to check the explosion!" Shi's voice is practically hissing, cluing that she's in the middle of an engagement.

"We'll be right there." Rei dismisses the intercom hurriedly. "Let's back them up, follow me, Kilo!"

The duo, with Rei doing the leading, rushes to where the fighting is currently going on. Rei is a good sensor, she can locate her two fighting teammates from this distance and they are not far. That's both good and bad news. It's good because they should be able to reach them in time before anything bad happens, but it's bad because the threat is closer to Konoha.

On the short days he's been with ROOT, Naruto is told of one important thing.

Any sorties or missions done by ROOT are secret. Not even ANBU knows when or where're they moving to. That large explosion definitely set off the alarms in both Konoha and Taki, which means those ANBU response teams are probably already deployed by now. They will need to act fast. The moment the two reaches the battle area, combat is already engaged.

Rei draws her blade and picks up one unaware Taki shinobi who is too busy preparing a jutsu to notice Rei's presence. Her blade sinks right through the man's neck, she then slides the blade to the side, decapitating him effectively. Rei jumps to find another target, but this time, everyone is pretty much aware of her and Naruto's presence. A Taki ninja throws his shuriken at her, but they are easily dismissed by a simple dodge. Rei's hands blur into a set of many seals, she jumps back.

" **Raiton: Inazuma!"**

Static electricity sparks in the air, then it transforms into lightning. Beams of lightning are sprayed all over her range, frying any Taki ninjas to death. Those who were untouched were blinded by the flash and this is where Naruto comes in. With blade in hand, he swipes them at the stunned Taki ninjas, hitting them right at their vital spots. His surprise attack results in the death of three Taki ninjas, all of them weren't aware of his surprise attack due to the effects of being stunned.

"Captain!" Iyo and Shi regroup with Rei and Naruto. "What should we do? There's too many of them!" she's engaging an enemy as she's speaking.

"We fight till the last man!" Rei shouts, whilst ending the life of a Taki shinobi by stabbing her blade right through his gut, twisting it to ensure his death. She then dodges a fireball aimed for her unsuspecting form, quickly moving to the side. "Give them hell team!"

Iyo and Shi do not need to be told twice. They pick up their pace and their fighting becomes even more aggressive. Naruto, who's picking off enemies in his own steady pace, could not help but be amazed and terrified at how quick his teammate change by a mere order. He's here taking his own time killing Taki ninjas slowly, but Shi, Iyo and the captain has already killed about half of the enemies that were here a while ago.

" **Simply, they became weapons, kid."**

' _What?'_

" **They shut down their humanity to become the most effective killing machine. Something that you suck at doing."**

' _Well…!'_ he flips back to avoid a flimsy slash from one Taki ninja who thought that he got him unaware. _'Sorry for being bad at being…'_ In mid-air, Naruto positions himself on top of his attacker, his blade pointed down to strike. _'…what I'm supposed to be!'_ he begins to fall; his blade is pointed down at the Taki ninja. Naruto lets gravity do the rest and the sharp end of his sword lands on the man's back. The blonde slides his sword off the man's dead body, flinging the blood away with a simple flick of his wrist.

" **Oh, not bad… but your dad's move was so much better."**

Naruto does not know why, but hearing that coming from Kurama really pisses him off. "Hearing that from you really pisses me off!" he snarls with an uncharacteristic anger. He flicks his fingers and six paper tags appear in between the spaces of his fingers. There are Taki ninjas rushing at him with the intent to kill, but sadly for them, Naruto feels the same way. "Eat schnitzel in hell!"

He throws the paper tag the incoming squad of men. The paper tags he's using are not an ordinary bunch, much like the rest he has in his arsenal. The paper is so much lighter and thinner, making them fly at a much to their targets almost instantly. The Taki ninjas shield their body; some even try to evade the range. But they did all that thinking that these are normal explosive tags. Sadly for them, they aren't. An explosion six times larger than what Naruto caused in his spar with Shi occurred and disintegrates all Taki ninjas in range. However, Naruto is caught on the explosion itself.

His clothes are already ruined from the first explosion that was caused by one careless ROOT, so he is not able to get maximum protection from his own explosion. The blast singes his clothing and cause burns on his exposed skin. He's gritting his teeth hard to ignore the burning sensation, but after what just happened, it's not as painful anymore. The blast manages to send him off crashing to a tree, though.

" **Kid hate to break it up to you and all but… you're not fucking Wolverine."** Kurama says with a matter of fact tone. **"Don't get pushed around especially by your own damned attack."**

"Quit nagging…!" the blonde hisses as he struggles to get up from the ground. Using his hands and his back on the tree as support, he manages to stagger back to his feet. "I suppose if you want to actually see me kick some ass, lend me a help would you?"

" **Sheesh fine… you underdeveloped main protagonist."**

Naruto, who really wants to give a number on Kurama, feels a sudden rush of power coursing through his body. This is both familiar and unfamiliar to him. His chakra reserves, while being pretty damn big for someone his age, is not potent enough to create eighty percent of the unique seals he made in his free time. The method of making a particular seal is like baking a cake, but backwards. First you do the decorations; this is mirrored on how one should start with writing in ink when making a seal. Secondly you bake the seal, this is process is the waiting process. It takes time for a seal to even form, depends on how complex the seal is and it may even not work. Finally, is the mixing stage. Basically, when you got everything written on the paper, wait it out for it to take form you mix your chakra into the 'batter'. A reverse cake recipe.

And a lot of times, he's been using Kurama's chakra instead of his work. Of course the first few trials were… unsuccessful to say the least but after those failures, he's able to create stronger and better seals. Not to mention, Kurama's basically like an endless supply of chakra.

" **You asshole."**

However, this does not come without a consequence. Kurama's chakra is vile. Repulsive, potent, evil, dirty, corrupted, filt-

" **Okay, okay I got it!"**

So to prevent those things from causing the seal to explode – note that failure is not limited to explosions – or tearing a seam in the time-space continuum, he needs to filter them away. How? Using his body, duh.

Right now, he's basically doing that, but instead of skimming the scum out and putting the raw useful chakra into a paper, he's distributing it into all parts of his body.

"Kurama… I'm feeling it man, I think… I think…" his eyes flash red, glowing like a lantern in the seas of hell. "I think I'm going super saiyan!"

The boy disappears in a flash of gold, black and white. He lost his cloak during the explosion, so there's nothing constricting his movement. He moves like pinball from the arcade, bouncing here and there with no way to track his movements or predict them. His blade is carried freely in his right hand in a reverse grip, glinting dangerously underneath the pale blue moon. He sees fighting up ahead and it seems that there're still quite a few Taki ninjas that need taking care of.

He's like a bouncy ball made for murder.

He launches to one ninja, taking his life by using his blade before jumping off to another one. Occasionally, he would also throw in several explosive tags into the mix, causing streaks of never ending explosion that terrifies the enemy. Parrying a lousy kunai swipe with his sword, Naruto delivers a counter attack, slicing off the man's arm before slipping a tag into his chest and kicking him back to where his friends are at and then only to explode. He senses multiple flaring of chakras.

" **Suiton: Suiryuudan no jutsu!"**

" **Katon: Housenka no jutsu!"**

Two combination attack of fire and water results in scalding steam enveloping the area. This hinders the Taki ninjas' vision and their enemy… probably. Five of them remains out of the fifty that were sent here. All of them are jumpy and paranoid, especially after a masked psycho joins the fray.

"C-Captain… I don't sense anyone!" one of the five Taki nins whispers nervously amongst the group.

"Keep your guard up men, we don't want them to catch us by surprise." The captain says firmly to prevent his men from losing morale.

The mist is thick and it's hindering their view, whoever used a suiton and katon will get an earful later. The captain of the Taki ninjas cannot sense anything, just as his subordinate says. But this does not mean that he's lowering his guard. His arms are on the ready, twitching at the slightest hint of movement that the mist makes. The mist, after several seconds of silence, shows no signs of disappearing.

"Hiro, check the area again." The captain orders.

No response.

"Hiro?" realizing what's happening, the captain waves his hand around to get the mist clear. A breeze coming from the south clears the mist away from him, and when it clears he sees four masked and cloaked figures standing over the corpse of his dead team members, including Hiro. All of them died from stab wounds, presumable by the swords that the masked figures are carrying.

"S-S-Stay back!"

They do the opposite of the man's demand.

The members of Squad 69 – sans Kuu – approach the terrified man slowly, their shadows looming over his form.

"N-N-No… NOOOOOO!"

* * *

"What happened out there was a complete mess."

Kneeled down on one knee, Squad 69 cannot say anything as Danzo chews them off. They are back at headquarters, each of them tired and exhausted in their own way. Shi and Iyo suffers from mild chakra exhaustion, muscle strains and several minor cuts and slashes. Rei suffers from chakra exhaustion, a broken rib and a second degree burn. Kuu suffers naught a single scratch, since she was not fighting. Naruto is still trying to ignore the exhaustion, multiple muscles sore and the Kyuubi's corruption of his chakra system. He can collapse and faint any moment now.

"The amount of disappointment I'm feeling equal to the number of Uchiha that were killed by one of their own." The aged war veteran's words are like a blizzard itself, cold and unforgiving. "But, I suppose, this was not your mistake. Umbra of Squad 53 paid the price with his life, and his two surviving squad members will join him for this disappointing result."

The two hidden ROOT hiding underneath the cover of darkness at the corners of the room disappear to carry out their order hinted by Danzo.

"This was not a complete failure, fortunately." Naruto gets the feeling that he's referring to them. "The explosions that went off will be seen as Taki's attempt of attacking Konoha, and from the reports of our scouts and the bodies of their own men on the area, we can brew out a story and say that this is self-defense. You also left no witnesses, even if there are, Hiruzen's men will do the cleaning for us."

A wave of relief hits the members of Squad 69.

"All of you are dismissed. Except for Kilo."

Kilo remains while the rest of his team dismisses themselves.

"Rise, Kilo."

Naruto does so.

"Open your mask."

He does so again, holding his mask with one hand as Danzo takes a good look at his face.

"After one mission and you're already making that kind of face." It's hard to trace the amusement in Danzo's voice, but it's present. "In the history of those I took in, only three people has made that kind of face." Danzo says in his uncaring and indifferent tone. "Uchiha Itachi, Hatake Kakashi and Namikaze Minato himself."

It takes everything Naruto is to not flinch when he hears that last name.

"The face of pure hate… the look of restrained anger and sorrow… the look of someone who's sure he's going to kill me…" what Danzo is describing is reflected on Naruto's face and the other way around. "I'll tell you what I told those previous three. You can try, but you won't. Even if you are strong enough to kill every single person in your own family, even if you are considered to be the strongest shinobi in the nation and even if you managed to become a Kage… you will not kill me."

Naruto is no longer standing still. He's shaking. He's livid.

"At least today, you didn't have to murder innocent lives… I can see the relief in your eyes, but this now and what happens tomorrow will be different." Danzo's tone is anything but kind. "I will make you feel what I made those three feel, I will build you but doing so I will have to break you just like I broke them. I do not care about what Hiruzen said, because the moment you entered ROOT, you are my soldier."

He lets the words sink into the boy's mind.

"Dismiss." He twists his swivel chair, turning his back to the blonde.

"Hai, Danzo-sama."

That night, Naruto feels a part of him has died.

* * *

 **Omake**

* * *

How Naruto deals with Kurama's antics.

He sees several images of skulls, death, rivers and sycthes being conjured into his thoughts.

"Uh… Kurama, what are you doing?" in the middle of eating his ramen, Naruto asks his tenant a question.

" **I'm thinking of… stuffs… mumble… mumble…"**

This prompts a curious tilt from the boy. It's rare for Kurama to actually think of something, since he would just voice it out in his head. "What are you thinking?"

" **I'm thinking about this seal… this seal summons the death god, right?"**

"That's what you told me about the night dad sealed you." Naruto nods.

" **So, basically, Minato summoned Hades."**

"Wah?"

" **But, in my opinion, it would've been waaaaay cooler if he summoned Zeus. Yeah… I can just picture that happening."**

"I… I don't even…?"

" **Oh, what about Athena? Dayuuum she's hot…"**

"Come on, that was that one movie we watched… and she's not that good looking either!"

" **Hey! Opinions man, opinions! Even Bijus' have them!"**

How Naruto deals with Kurama's antics?

He doesn't.


	5. Chapter 5

He never really experiences what true exhaustion is like, until he joins ROOT. Based on ROOT's many doctrine, **'A ROOT must experience both physical and mental exhaustion'** but the word 'exhaustion' is very much underrated. He did not sign up for ROOT, now that he thinks about it, he never asks to be in ROOT at all. The Third Hokage put him here and Danzo's been plotting suspicious plans that might or might not have something to do with him. Regardless of all that, he is a ROOT now. He must feel the pain, torture, depression and gut wrenching feeling that comes with it.

Under normal circumstances, a ROOT agent is to be trained by their NCO or squad leader in other words, but in his case, he has his whole team to do it for him. Throughout the past few weeks, Naruto has trained with Shi in combat. The woman may not be good in teaching, but it's not like you can teach anyone how to fight in the first place. The only way for someone to learn how to fight is to be in one. It's one of those cases where you learn as you experience. The woman, contrary to her cheerful and approaching nature, can be ruthless in combat. She kicked, punch, slap, throw and elbowed him as if he was her personal punching bag – which he was. Shi is simulating a situation in real combat, a situation where he knows he has no other way other than to defeat the enemy. And just like real combat, Shi won't stop beating him to the ground just because he asked for a time out. Merciless.

Thanks to that harsh treatment from her, he gets to improve a lot in his combat overalls. He is more aware of his situation, his reflexes kicked in quicker and way more natural, he knows how to respond to certain types of attack and he knows how to incorporate pure kick assery while flinging explosive tags all around. But thanks to being her punching bag for the past few weeks, he's also gained some 'marks' to remind him of not pissing her of. Combat is not strictly confined to taijutsu, he also learned a lot about ninjutsu.

That's where the archives come in. ROOT has an archive, he'd call it a library but they're more like scrolls instead of books, that everyone is allowed to browse through. Some sections are restricted by ranks and you'll need clearance to acquire them. Other than that, everything else seems available for everyone. The archive does not only contain jutsu, but useful codex that might interest the curious of bunch. He found a schematic of an intriguing exploding sphere, but sadly, the codex was illegible and too old for him to fully read. The jutsu are what you'll normally look for when you're in the archives.

He would browse the archive whenever he has free time and learn the jutsu that are available there. He found out about this one thing called nature transformation. According to textbooks, it is an advanced form of chakra control that entails the molding and defining of one's chakra into an innate kind of chakra nature, altering its properties and characteristics for use in techniques. It's a useful component when creating a technique, combined with shape manipulation to create a jutsu. He won't go into detail but basically, this is the stuff that's considered to be the pinnacle and stepping stone in order to make a technique, similar to the chakra exercises that they made him do in the academy.

He gets interested in the topic and has burned through most of the written entries regarding the topic in one sitting. After hours of reading he asked his squad leader if he's allowed to purchase several chakra sensitive paper. She gave him the okay and he went and buy him one pack of the stuff. And here he is now, in his room, staring at the papers.

"Alright, here it goes." He slips one of the papers between the gaps of his middle and pointer finger. Closing his eyes, he channels a respectable amount of chakra into the paper. A second after that, he hears something being ripped and then retracted his hand when he feels heat enveloping it. "Huh, whaddaya know."

So wind and fire… that was unexpected.

" **Not really."**

"Why?"

" **Your mom was known to be a rather skilled wind and water user in her time, while your dad's actually a fire natured but he prefers using lightning based jutsu when fighting simply because it's more precise and controllable than fire."**

"Oh." His shoulders lower, not knowing what to say about that. There are still things he do not know about his parents… "Anyway, now that I know, what should I do?"

" **I don't know, go get your ass kicked by that chick again?"**

"Ha ha ha." Naruto's voice is heavy with sarcasm. Crossing his arms, he picks up the other half of the paper which is not burned. He holds it in the same manner he did previously, channel his chakra and then watches as the strip of paper is sliced into thinner strips. "It seems that the amount of chakra affects the power of the technique… interesting."

" **Oh don't give me that look."** Kurama whines loudly from inside his cage.

"Why? What's wrong with my face?" Naruto asks with his face scrunched in confusion.

" **You're making that look that you're always making when you've discovered something that you deem 'interesting'. The last time you did something like this, you fucking mastered the arts of sealing."** Kurama deadpans. **"Hell, kid, I know that I want you to be strong, but not that strong. The last thing I want is another Uchiha Madara kicking people for shits and giggles."**

"Uchiha.. Madara? You mean one of the founders of Konoha? The ancestor of our snobby Uchiha?"

" **Yeah, that one."**

"Hmm… interesting."

" **Goddamit kid, stop saying that."** Kurama face palms hard whilst shaking his head slowly. **"And go do something already, I'm sick and tired of seeing you sick and tired of not knowing what to do."**

Sighing loudly and deeply, the blonde reaches for his mask which he has fasted on his belt before fixing it back on his face. "I don't want to be told that by a fox who has nothing to do." He leaves the stack of chakra papers as if and exits his quarters. He needs to check out a few things.

Climbing down the stairs to the mess hall, he's greeted by a familiar form. "Hey, Kilo!" a taller male runs toward him, waving his hand slowly.

Naruto acknowledges the person with a wave of his own. "Hey Gunther, good to see you. Back from patrol?" he asks with a raised eyebrow underneath his mask.

ROOT operative Gunther is a member of Squad 23, a part of ROOT's 1st Recon Brigade. Each division has something unique that tells them apart from the others. For example, those from the Combat Platoon has shoulder guards, the guys from Intelligence Department has blue armbands and Gunther, who's from Recon, wears a goggled mask that shows nothing about his face. Most of the mask is still made from the same porcelain material, but the goggles are mostly plastic and tinted glass. How is he able to see with it, he will never know.

Gunther himself is a mysterious fellow. The man is unlike the rest of his bunch. Rumors have it that the guys from Recon are the creepiest bunch in all of ROOT, but Gunther's personally contradicts that claim. He's approachable, seemingly tolerant to his sense of humor and is easy to talk to. But he still gives him uneasy feelings, for some reason and the fact that despite knowing the guy for about… two weeks, he still doesn't know that much about him. The Recon member runs his hand through his messy shaggy brown hair, all the while chuckling good naturedly.

"That's correct-o!" he ends with a chirpy staccato. "Everything went smoothly and nothing went wrong, well, the captain ordered me not to tell other people about the things that actually went wrong, so in your case, nothing went wrong."

Naruto leans away. It's a good thing that his mask is hiding the uneasy expression he's making. The way he's saying it with a chipper voice makes things even more disturbing. "Uh… okay…? Anyway, you got anything interesting for me?"

Just like how Konoha has this teamwork system going on, ROOT also has that but it's not as heavily practiced as that one. ROOT agents are allowed to help each other out, regardless if they're on different department. It's actually quite a useful system for an organization that holds secrecy so dearly. He's allowed to ask for favors from his subordinates and the rewards for having them do a favor is usually cash. Now this may look like an improper behavior from a military perspective, but it actually helps the system running. Funding for ROOT is not plenty, hell Konoha made sure to not fund the organization at all because it's practically a separate foundation. Money is obviously an important asset to keep the agents fed, comfortable – despite how minimal it may be – and well supplied.

While they do receive funding from the village, the village does whatever it could to make as if they never do anything about it. Which means that ROOT's funding is not written on formal papers, kept as minimal as possible, and not in an arranged schedule. This is the situation that has been going on for years, it's amazing how Danzo is able to keep these people from protesting… then again, knowing the kind of man Danzo is, he doubts that anyone thinks of protesting in the first place. That man may be bad in his books, but he has no choice but to respect the man's managing skills and his leaderships skills. Managing an organization like ROOT, regardless of how small it is compared to the organization of shinobis in Konoha, takes a lot of will.

The last thing they want in here is the lack of funds to keep the organization working. Which is why most of the missions carried out by ROOT will immediately go into the organization's account, processed by the accounting people and then distributed to the ROOT as payment. It's not much, let him tell you that, even a normal Jonin gets paid twice the amount of what he's getting, but for a thirteen year old kid like him, it's still enough. Besides, spending is strictly limited within the organization only, which means he can't grab a bowl of Ichiraku Ramen no matter how much deep he's into withdrawal. Thank the Gods that they serve ramen here…

He's looking for something to do because he lacks exactly just that. Gunther always have things for him to do, be it stockpile checking, archiving, switching patrol turns and many more.

"I do, actually." He says pleasingly. "I just got word from my division captain that he's in a need of someone from Combat to accompany his team to do a recon somewhere in sector eight." He unzips a small pouch he has strapped to his waist, pulling out a scroll the size of light bulb before throwing it to Naruto. "It's not exactly a mission, but you'll still get paid, depends if things go as planned or not."

Examining the scroll, Naruto does so while saying, "But I'm not from Combat though, is that fine?"

"I think so. Your squad's a bit of a special case, maybe the division captain will let you?" the taller male pats Naruto several times on the back. "Just tell him Gunther sent you, he'll probably let you in." then he lifts his hand back to where they belong.

"Alright." He pockets the scroll inside his pouch. "I'll go as soon as I resup…ply…?" he's about to thank the older man but he's not where he was seconds ago. Naruto's face transforms into that of irate realization. "Aw, he pulled a Batman on me!"

* * *

"Hiruzen, I brought news."

ANBU's organization consists of one chief commander and many captains that govern over the separate division that it consists of. It's a simple chain of command really. The head of the organization is the Hokage himself, as he is the commander in chief of all shinobi forces in Konoha and since Konoha is a shinobi village, it practically means that he holds authority over everything. The ANBU has a commander in charge of leading them directly and that person is Wolf right here.

A tall figure, bearing a white porcelain mask with the likeness of a majestic wolf stands tall. This is not an act of disrespect, but the opposite. It shows just how important he is to be allowed to stand with the Hokage on equal grounds. Wolf is no ordinary individual. He has done more than enough for Konoha, but with his position in ANBU, his deeds, no matter how heroic or ruthless they were, shall go unwritten and unspoken. Hiruzen knows Wolf personally, too personal. The commander's crimson scarf billows as he moves forward nearer to Hiruzen's desk.

"I take it that it's a good one?"

The commander crosses his arms, but his posture does not slacken. "What do you think?" Hiruzen sighs, there goes his twentieth huff. "What happened three weeks ago triggered a lot of people, not just Taki. Minor settlements around that area demanded that we send more shinobi to patrol around their area and it's giving us unwanted attention from the rest of the ninja village. Taki did everything they could to make the incident look like it's our fault, our media could do nothing against it because it will seem like we're abusing our power as a huge superpower to oppress a small village like Taki."

"So they're expecting something out of this, huh?" Hiruzen drones in a lost voice. "I know that I shouldn't have let Danzo roam about freely, he and his people are bound to mess up anytime soon."

The commander lets go of his pose, letting his arms fall straight. "So Danzo has something to do with this, huh?"

"More like he's the one who actually did all of this." the Third Hokage exaggerates by spreading his arms. He returns them back to their usual position on the desk, folded. "But it was mistake, Danzo assured me that it was not for any ill intentions."

"And you believed him why?"

"Because he has our Jinchuriki working for him."

Thanks to the mask, the commander's jaw cannot hit the floor. Hiruzen does not have to look at his old friend in the eye – or face for that matter – to know the demanding look. His stature basically demands it. "I had an idea of letting Danzo train the boy into an exceptional shinobi." Before the commander could even speak, Hiruzen continues his reasoning. "I considered putting him into ANBU, but I want him under the radar as much as possible. I don't want anyone to find out that we are putting our only Jinchuriki, the host of the most powerful Biju I might add, in to Black-ops. That will trigger a way bigger mess than the one we currently have."

"But Danzo…?" the voice trails off, uncertain on what to think of the very thought.

The old Sarutobi strokes his white beard in a slow pace, his face contorting into a faraway look. "I… do not trust the man, true, but he's done a good job in raising some of Konoha's best."

Namikaze Minato, Hatake Kakashi, Uchiha Itachi…

Is the old man planning to add another name to that list?

The Hokage's eyes are like charcoal. "ROOT is Danzo's responsibility, after all.

The commander stays silent. Before him is not the man called Sarutobi Hiruzen. No. This is the ever brilliant, deadly smart, and practical genius who's known as The Professor. Only the Third could think of a complicated plan and think of it this far ahead. He understands what Hiruzen meant. If the Jinchuriki breaks, then Danzo will take the fall.

"I do not doubt you or your people into shaping the boy, old friend." Hiruzen's tone is nothing but sincere. "In fact, I believe that you could. But I have plans for Naruto-kun. I want to not only raise him in the shadows, but for him to grow accustomed to it. I want him to be where only a few would dare to thread, I want him to walk that line, I want him to rise where others seem to fall. I want him to prove that he is Uzumaki Naruto."

"…but without letting the boy into the light?"

"…old friend," Hiruzen sighs a hundred year old sigh. "recognition is not limited to fame, you know this as well as I do, maybe even more. His deeds will be enough."

The commander returns to silence.

"For now, deal with our current situation in every way you can, you have permissions to use any resources you need. Tell Shikaku that if Taki wants an audience with me, they have permission to step into my office."

The commander's posture changes as if there's a switch that does exactly that. He's no longer standing, but kneeling on one knee. "Yes, Hokage-sama."

"Dismiss."

And he disappears, off to do his as his lord orders.

* * *

Hatake Kakashi is often associated with the word 'lazy'. In Konoha, he's regarded as one of the laziest ninja, whether it's affectionately or not, he will never know. In his defense, he really has nothing else to do prior to taking a team.

Hatake Kakashi is also often associated with word 'pervert. In Konoha, he's the only man who dared to walk around the village reading a certain orange covered book in both broad daylight and night. In his defense, his interest in literature is amazing and anyone who thinks otherwise is a fool.

Even the Hokage reads it.

In his office, Hiruzen chokes on air.

But right now, his reading time is reduced to about… four percent, which is still a lot since it's his reading time. And where does that four percent goes? Why it goes to his adorkable little genins of course! My oh my.

"Kakashi-sensei, would you please stop reading that insufferable smut and train us!"

First member of his team is a girl named Haruno Sakura. She is… an average girl, in terms of look. The only thing that stood out about her is her pink hair and large forehead. She comes from a simple civilian family who lives in the civilian sector, not that far from the academy. Haruno Sakura confesses that her reason for becoming a shinobi is due to a certain dark haired prince that she absolutely admires. Sakura is also known for her short temper, meaning that she thinks with her fists more often than she thinks with her brain, which is also pretty alright since she's considered to be one of the smartest students in the academy.

"Hn."

And the second is prince charming himself, Uchiha Sasuke. Whew. Where should he start with this boy? He'll just assume that Itachi will be very disappointed in seeing him like this, oh boy, sad too since he heard that he was quite cute when he was younger. Uchiha Sasuke is one of the two Uchihas that still walked the earth, one of them is Itachi himself. He does not take topics which have Itachi in it very well because of what happened years ago. Aside from the boy's semi arrogant and borderline emo attitude, he handles himself pretty well in the fight. As expected from this year's Rookie of the year. He has them all; the brain and brawn.

"…"

Last but not the least is Sai. Now where should he start? He literally knows nothing about the boy, he doubts that he'll find anything resembling a real information about the boy even if he's to check the shinobi archives. Sai, no last name, is an enigma. First, he's quite, way quieter than prince charming. Second, he likes to make penis jokes. And third, he rather paints than talk. Oh, did he say that he likes to make penis jokes? He has the composure of an ANBU and the discipline of a ninja who's been through eight years of shinobi boot camp. Sai doesn't talk much, but when he does…

"Hey dickless, try not to look at me like that."

"SAI!? WHAT DID YOU SAY TO SASUKE-KUN?!"

"Hn…!"

Yeah, he definitely likes penis jokes.

Sighing over his current situation, Kakashi snaps his book shut and pockets it back inside his pouch. His team has just returned from another D-ranked mission to catch the hellish abomination known as Tora, he swears, that cat has been around from his time as a genin… and he got nothing but C-ranked mission during his time as a genin! After the mission ended, and since it's still pretty early – just past eleven – he thought that it'd be a good idea for his team to practice on their teamwork while he reads the newest edition of his favorite series.

But no, it turns out into… this.

He had them practice their chakra exercises in the form of tree climbing, as in with no hands, since they learned how to do it during their latest mission to Wave. They climbed their trees for about a good two hours and then this happens. Urgh… maybe he shouldn't have become a Jonin sensei…?

"Alright guys, settle down, no need to fight all of you." he sends his students a mild glare, making them quiet down. "Sai, you can go and practice your painting skills over by that spot over there." He's referring to a spot underneath a tree. "Sasuke, I suggest you work on training your muscles, drop down and give me fifty." The Uchiha grunts, but he does it anyway. "And Sakura…"

The pink haired girl leans in, waiting.

"I… I don't even know what you should do." The girl blanches, almost falling. "Your chakra reserves are small, you're not physically fit, your stamina is low and you don't have a knack in fighting." Kakashi has just impaled her with four hurtful facts. "What should I do…?" he thinks to himself.

"K-Kakashi-sensei… am I really that bad?" Sakura asks in a very small voice, almost too ashamed to voice it.

Kakashi swears he just heard Sasuke snort. Sighing heavily, Kakashi adopts a sincere look, not that Sakura can see it. "Sakura, I'll be very honest with you." he places his hand on her shoulder. "If there's the three of us in a room with… uh… let's say… Zabuza in it," the girl's expression contorts into a grimace. "you'll be the first one to die." He says flatly. "I'm not saying you're weak," well, not directly anyways. "but you're just not doing whatever it is necessary for you to develop."

"I suggested several ways you could improve yourself. Things like push ups, running and other things that involves physical effort but you turned them down because you don't want to get yourself sweaty because 'Sasuke-kun might avoid me'." the teacher's look solidifies into a mild glare, causing the pink haired girl to shrink. "Well let me tell you this, Sakura. One, he's already avoiding you. Two, you're the one who wanted to become a ninja. And three, no one fucking cares about you getting all wet and sweaty. Heck, you're a ninja, you're meant to get wet and sweaty."

Sakura is on the verge of crying.

Sasuke is… uh… let's just say that he's doing his push-ups with only one hand, because he needs the other one to contain his laughter.

Maintaining his glare on the sniffling girl, Kakashi does not let it falter. He needs to be straightforward here and Sakura should be thankful that he's not someone like Kurenai. "I'm going to give you a choice here Sakura." He delivers the ultimatum. "Either you do as I say and take your duties as a ninja more seriously, or I'll drop you out of the shinobi program right here and now. Konoha can't afford to waste precious resources just because one of their shinobi is taking her job and duty for granted."

The girl's already letting out small sobs, but she keeps her crying to a minimal. Her hands desperately tries to wash away the tears she sheds, but continuously finding herself repeating the process. She nods her head, shakily. "I-I-I'll do it, K-Kakashi-sensei… I'll try my best."

Kakashi nods. He pats the girl softly on her head about three times. "Good, we'll start now." He then glares again, this time at the boy who's trying his hardest not to laugh. "Sasuke, stop laughing!"

It's a nice morning for team seven.

* * *

"…Sir, someone wants to talk to you."

A tall, masked and goggled man stares at his subordinate for approximately four seconds before looking back at the map he has laid out on the table before him. "Bring them in."

The sound of a metal door being opened and it closing back again does not disturb the man from his routine. He spends a good ten seconds before finally taking notice of the presence in the room. "Who are you?"

"Kilo, from Squad 69." A younger voice bleeds through a porcelain mask.

"DEVGRU, huh? So what do you want from me?"

Kilo shifts uneasily from his spot. "Gunther told me that you have something to do."

The division Captain stops observing the map, and looks at the blonde haired ROOT. "Gunther? Did he now?" there's a hint of sarcasm in his voice, laced with amusement. He sees the blonde giving him a small nod. The Captain eyes the shorter male, eyes observing his very being. "I may or may not have something that you might be interested in. Tell me first, how do you do things?"

"…excuse me, sir?"

"What is your specialization?"

"Stealth, intel gathering, infiltration, fuinjutsu and combat, sir." Naruto replies like a robot.

"In that order?"

"Yes, sir."

The division Captain eyes the blonde for more than a second before nodding. "Perfect, I just have the right thing for you." he knocks three times on the table and another member from Recon appears from the shadows with a small scroll in his hand. The Captain rolls it over to Naruto, who takes it before it could even reach the edge of the table. "Read it and don't screw it up. Payment will be given to you by one of my boys."

Naruto nods. "Yes sir."

"Scram, rookie."

Naruto disappears and he reappears outside of the room. On the way out of the area, he shivers. "Man… the guys from Recon are creepy…"

Naruto is glad that he is placed in a squad where everyone is easy to talk to. He can't even imagine being put in a place like Combat or Recon. From what he has heard and seen himself, the guys from Assaults are nothing more than mindless killers who would kill without even batting an eye and the boys from Recon are creepy dudes who pops up from nowhere. Then again, there's no telling just how loco his team is. He's starting to see himself as crazy too… it's been several weeks in ROOT, almost a month even, and he's already doing things that he thought were sick.

" **Like killing?"**

"Especially that…" Naruto whispers, answering his tenant's comment. It's not he doesn't like to kill. Okay, he doesn't like killing, but he knows that killing should be something natural to a ninja, especially if he's in ROOT. He has… experienced several cases of PTSD in his time here and the only way to get rid of them is to train with his team, even if it means he'll get his ass handed to him by Shi or get stuck listening to Rei's lecture.

The way the system works sickens him, but it's a system that keeps the village running, safe and strong. And he's fighting for that village. There's really no other way other than to accept the fact that Konoha is not as innocent as he thought it was before he became a ninja.

Pulling out the mission scroll he has received from the Recon Captain earlier, Naruto unrolls it and begins reading whilst walking. He's heading to the armory to prep himself for whatever this mission is.

 **Mission #234512**

 **Clearance: 2**

Naruto's eyebrows rise. A level two clearance is needed to read this?

 **Details: Meet with ANBU contact in sector 6-A-2 and learn their objectives.**

 **Mission conditions: No witness.**

Sector 6-A-2… that's where his first legitimate mission went into a clusterfuck. It's been several weeks after that little fuck up and from what he's heard, Konoha's doing everything it could to prevent any skirmishes from happening with Taki. Tension with the minor village is already as tense as it is and even ROOT's been giving hand in cleaning the mess. He swears, everyone above him must be busy as fuck… why did the Captain give him this mission anyway? This seems important and something that only someone from Recon would do.

Regardless, he's accepted this mission and it would be a jerk of him to return.

Making his way to the armory, the blonde sighs as he knows that this mission will not be easy.

While it's not strange for a ROOT to take solo mission from here and then, it's still quite uncommon for a lone ROOT to take a mission with a level 2 clearance, anything that is higher than a level 1 is not commonly taken for solo-op really. Maybe the weight of this operation resides in the information it'll give, he's treading in ANBU activity after all and from what he's heard from the mess hall, getting detected by an ANBU is pretty much fucked, but since the mission details specifically mentioned to meet a contact from ANBU, he doubts that he'll run into a scuffle here.

He should not worry about that, he's professional now. He's sure that he has what it takes to complete this mission. Walking to the armory, he wastes no time searching for his desire equipment for the mission. Since this is a level 2 clearance mission, equipment is free and he'll be able to take more than usual, something good for him. But he has to take care not too over carry though, it's not like he'll need an entire arsenal with him.

He walks past the first rows and drawers of weapons, beginning his search in the deeper parts of the room. Higher quality weapons are stored here; from swords to kunais, from kunais to thin hair-like titanium wire. These are weapons and tools that no ordinary shinobi could ever get their hands on, only special divisions like ANBU and ROOT are allowed to operate with them. He picks up a short ninjato, black in color and it fits his hand perfectly. He gathers several sets of explosive tags, though he'd rather rely on his own, it's never a mistake to bring extra. He also acquires a spool of titanium wire, these are handy when equipped together with his tags to make traps. A pouch of ready-made soldier pills and two packs of standard issue MRE's.

He proceeds to the counter located at the entrance of the underground area, where it acts as a check-out area. He brings everything to the counter where an operative with a blank mask similar to his is in charge of operating. "A ninjato, two dozen explosive tags, ninja wire, a pouch of soldier pills and two MRE's." the muffled voice of the one in charge of the counter bleeds through the mask. "Mission clearance?"

"Level 2." The blonde answers smoothly and curtly.

"Anything else?"

The blonde shakes his head.

"You're cleared."

Equipping and storing his new equipment into his person, Naruto is now ready for the mission.

* * *

The night is quiet, as expected. Taki would be a fool to act out anytime soon after their latest skirmish with Konoha. It didn't even make sense in the first place, they were clearly the ones moving beyond their boundaries and they're making it look like it's Konoha's fault? While it's in human nature to get all defensive, Taki – aside from the loss of their ninjas – have not really brought any solid proof that it was Konoha's fault for triggering their acclaimed 'defensive proximity measures'. The bodies of the ROOT that died that night were all burned to ashes, to prevent any secrets from going out, and he and his team did a good job of killing the reinforcement Taki sent that day.

Now, the ANBU's in charge of the matters with Taki from behind the scenes. They're the ones bringing the threats to Taki, daring the small satellite village to do anything major. Of course, Taki doesn't dare to do anything major, but it seems that it's not ready to lose face and completely bring the whole thing down as a blunder. As if it was a blunder in the first place, their shinobi was clearly acting suspicious.

He's halfway to the checkpoint where he'd meet his ANBU contacts, the details didn't exactly tell him that he'll meet one person, so he'll assume that all ANBU in the area knows he's coming otherwise he's pretty much dead already. It takes him no more than a few minutes to reach the exact coordinates of his meeting location with the ANBU and as soon as he arrives, he knows he's at the right place. Four chakra signatures suddenly appear, they did a good job of masking themselves, and Naruto is now within the presence of four ANBU.

"Identify yourself." One of the ANBU, Naruto's not sure which one, speaks with a cold tone.

"ROOT's Squad 69 operator, Kilo." Naruto replies in the same toneless voice as the ANBU.

The ANBU operatives spare him not a second glance as they jump down to him. "We'll keep this short." The one with the falcon mask speaks. "We have two ANBU deeper within Taki's line, but we lost contact with them. We have a mark on their latest known position, but even so our sensor's injured after a recent unfortunate run in with a trap that Taki laid out, but it's better than nothing. Are you ready to move out?"

"Wait a minute here." Naruto has no choice but to drop the professional act. "My mission is to learn your objective."

"Tough luck ROOT, but _your_ mission is to follow my orders." The captain of the squad retorts in a superior manner. "Are we going to have any problem with this?"

"…nothing, captain." His voice returns to its stoic tone.

"Good, let's move out now. You cover our rear."

The group of five moves out in the formation the captain has ordered them to take. Naruto is a little bit nervous, why wouldn't he? This is his first mission with ANBU, people that do not really get along well with people like him. He's not sure if he should surrender authority to the guy or not, but something tells him that if he didn't, then he'll get his ass chewed by his captain, or worse, Danzo himself.

"If you don't mind me asking, captain, what are your team's orders?" he asks to get more information about his mission.

"We were cleaning a mess, a mess that you and your group made." And he regrets it already. "Orders are for us to locate and interrogate two Taki jonin ranked ninjas named Kawasaki Honda and Yamaha Kawai. They're the ones responsible for ordering the group that set up the traps that's infesting this part of the forest, but we're going to search for the two missing ANBUs first. What happened anyway back then? I was stationed in sector 5 during that time and I felt the explosion even from there."

"An idiot happened." Naruto isn't sure how he could be even blunter than that. "He activated the main traps and killed his entire squad because of his stupidity." The other two that survived had Danzo deal with them… but it's technically death anyway.

"Heeh? You boy scouts aren't so perfect after all."

He's feeling the love people.

The team reached the first area where one of the two signatures are at. It's an empty clearing, and everyone begins their search.

"Who are we looking for, captain?" Naruto asks.

"ANBU operative Slug. She's sent to do further scouting but she hasn't returned for more than three hours and that's worrying." The captain says. "Try looking around the place for any signs of her being here and try not to screw this whole thing up, okay?"

Biting back a curse, Naruto nods. "Yes sir."

He looks around, searching for any clue. What he's looking for are signs, marks left by this Slug person if she was here at all. Why is she called slug, anyway, that's just degrading. Then again, one of the legendary Sennins was known for her association with slugs. He has wandered off further into the forest and since it's dark, he has to keep his senses to the max. There's no telling what kind of nasty traps those Taki nins have been planting here, but he doubts that they'll plant anything dangerous near their territory.

His search for any clue as to the missing ANBU's whereabouts resumes, then he catches something glinting from the corner of his eyes. Upon instinct, he draws out his sword in a defensive position, but nothing happens. He figures that someone was about to throw something at him, but no, nothing like that. But he does see what causes that misunderstanding. Placing his sword back into its scabbard, he then approaches the item of interest, looking at it with curious eyes. A sword, a ninjato but of a different design than his own, is stuck to a tree.

He begins inspecting the sword without touching it, as it will only ruin the evidence. He inspects the design and he recognizes it immediately. It's the same as the swords that ANBU has. He does one thing and that is flaring his chakra. Minutes later, four consecutive presence lands on the area behind him, approaching him.

"I found something." Naruto says, gesturing the sword stuck to the tree. "Does this look familiar to you?"

Another ANBU, a person wearing a mask with tribal design answers his question, "That's one of our operatives' sword." Well, that much is obvious. "Captain, this mark…"

"Ah, yes. She's been captured." It's a disappointed sigh that the captain is making. "We're going to split up with this and find Seichiro quick." He then looks at the ROOT who, despite wearing a mask, is definitely confused. "It's ANBU protocol to leave your sword behind in case you're captured. It doesn't make sense but it's punishment because you're careless enough to get captured in the first place." The captain says with detachment in his voice.

"Hm, so are we going to do as you planned?" Naruto asks.

"Yes, we will split up and divide our focus. We're trained to resist torture, but there's no telling what kind of method they'll take to make her talk." Naruto's stomach sinks in, he's not dumb to miss out the implication that the captain is making. "Anyway, ROOT, you'll be with Tae and Song; the rest will be with me. My group will locate the targets while Tae yours will try and find our men."

Everyone nods, knowing what to do.

"Then let's split up and give the ROOT my frequency."


End file.
